It seems them medical greybeards of today are no longer content to breed anatomical functionality on the spines of mouse’s, they are now pondering on how to get their grubby mitts on my blubber coated bits!
It would appear that a lot of people do not carry Donor cards, so to get round it, they want to make it compulsory for them to pilfer your guts upon death, unless you ‘opt-out’.
Surgeony types have no right to interfere with my bod once I'm dead! I'm my own person and I want to remain intact. If they want to rummage around my innards to rob me of my internals, they can jolly well wait until I'll gets a donor card.
I don’t want to spend the afterlife all incomplete and haunting multiple operatees like some Voldemorty Horcrux, and I shouldn't have to carry a card that sez I don’t want to.
There's only one organ I want in another person, and I don't want to be dead when it happens. Unless it's one of them naughty nurses in the Head & Shoulders ad with a fetish for necrophilia, in which case I'll happily sign up to a "nob me after death" card.
It's another of this ludicrous coalition* propositions. Next we'll all have to agree to be burglarized, unless we opt-out of being robbed by Thieves Guild licenced maurauders appointed by some quango**.
Anyhoo, why should we have to donate organs anyway? Apparently, there’s this “Stem cell research” policy, about investing in genetic manipulation so they can grow larger organs (typical medical students! Trying to grow a huge cock for themselves!). I wholeheartedly agree! Forget trying to stem the tide, if they spent more time stemming wasteful research into the habitat of incarcerated felons, they could spend the savings creating body parts for Universal Soldiers, Terminators and Daleks to put our brains in!
Think I’m joking, they’ve already begun:
* ALTHOUGH WHAT WELSH MINED FOSSIL FUELS HAS TO DO WITH GOVERNING GOVERNMENT PARLIAMENTARY PARTIES, I DON’T KNOW. APART FROM GROWING GIANT MAGGOTS IN GREEN TOXIC WASTE THAT CAN ONLY BE CURED BY SERENDIPITOUS FUNGI. AND THEY SHOULDN’T BE HAVING PARLIAMENTARY PARTIES ANYWAY, IF THEY’RE TRYING TO SORT OUT THIS DEFICIT. ALTHOUGH IF THEY INVITE ME, I’LL GLADLY PARTAKE OF THE JELLY AND ICE CREAM THEY’VE BOUGHT FROM ICELAND ON EXPENSES.
**WHICH I BELIEVE IS A QUINCE AND MANGO CAN OF FIZZY POP***. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'VE BEEN QUANGO'D.
***POP! POP! POP MUZIK! DOWNLOAD THE NEW FUZZBOX SINGLE OFF’VE ITUNES: BUY POP*MUSIK
Outrage! Consternation! Uproar! And expansion upon Ms Royal’s FaceBook status commentary!
Gullible types believe that The Filth have been appointed powers to strip people of their In-guh-luhnd shirts if they are in a pub or a club because the wearing of the St George cross is being racist.
Well, I’m proud to be a racist, me! 100m, 200m, Hurdles, Marathon – hate the lot of ‘em. And as for relays – passing the shaft of some phallic symbol from hand to hand is just bordering on obscene. Although I’ll make an exception for Race For Life, coz that’s for charidee, just to prove I’m not some white sheet wearing cross country burning racetrack supremacist.
All this fuss coz some bloke glued some pigeon wings to an iguana then cut its bonce off in the name of Good King Harry. Or Good King Wenceslas. Or someone. If I stick a beak on a dog, stick a snake up it's bum and sellotape some feathers on it's back, then knife it, do I get canonized as St Xym, Slayer of Griffins and Patron saint of Brentford with a flag inspired by the colors of me badger striped barnet?
Do I ‘eck as like! I get done for Aminal Cruelty, that’s what!!
How dare CamelEgg pass laws to enforce the extraction of English emblems off our backs! I mean, is this a Christian country or not?
No Sir, verily it is not!!
This be a Pagan country, and we are proud of our druidic nature! From Stonehenge to the Green Man, and the combusting of police folk in wicker baskets.
These ruddy Roman furriners, coming over here and stealing our sacred groves with their new found religion. They'll be havin' Christian faith schools next, and littering our green and pleasant land with their cathedrals, churches and paedophile priests!
At least with pagans, the women won't get all het up about removing their football shirts, as they all dance about in bare scuddies beneath a fat gibbous moon anyway, so any excuse to whip their kit off in a pub.
Tell you what Herne, it'll be poetic justice if them Muslims try the same thing with Christians like they're doing to us Pagans! Building mosques and being all fundamental and full of religious righteousness, fervour and heretic conflagration... totally unlike these Christians at all! Christians are all peace on love and Jesus dying for the absolvement of sins, not usurping our religious heritage with some made up set of gospels from Jerusalem's Lot with some Jyhaddywaddy style Crusade to strike down and convert the infidels. You'll see, it's just a passing fad. Come 2010, no-one will remember the Christians (or their Harvest For The World charity single). Send 'em back to Rome where they came from! That'll learn 'em! Gullible Italians and their priestly pizzas and spiritual spaghetti. Away with ye afore I draw down the moon and wreak Diana's vengeance upon thee!
Let these coppers come in and tear the England shirts off these ladyfolk! And as they’ve burnt their over the shoulder boulder holders in order to be emancipated to vote, pole dance and be Escorts, they’ll be all nudie about the chesticles. Can’t see why people are complaining really!
“oh, just the women then, is it Xym?” I hear you cry!
Well, I for one have no wish to see curry filled beer bellied hairy lairy menfolk with their ponderous sweaty moobs jiggling about when they see someone score a goal. Puts me right off my intoxicating beverages, that does!
