Well, I was sat in Starbucks perving over my Barrista Babes partaking of a Gingybread latté & Xymnamon Swirl when Kelso turned up with an announcement.
There is an Art Gallery where Past Tymes used to be, and some painter man is flogging a picture of The Xym for only £595!
What's this? Art thou sure?
Oh yes, they've nicked your now legendary image! Twiddly 'tashe, purple top hat - you should sue them for using yer copyrighted image!
Surely not! Although Xym is an inspiration to all who encounter him, lingering in the memory like a recurring nightmare. If anyone's going to immortalize Xym on canvas, it's more likely to be some malformed Lovecratian eldritch horror!
So, I stropped off to see this portrayal of Xym.
And thar be Xym, encapsulated as an 'orrible beastie on one of his many trips to Lon-don (to buy Heat magazine). And indeed, there is purple millinery and twiddly 'tashery.
And even this artist thinks Xym's gay, coz this interpretation has Xym firmly grasping the top of St Stephen's shaft with his body wrapped around the main phallic tower. And to make matters worse, the purple hairy Xymbeast is making the international symbol of Fisting!
And just like Xym, it's hæmorrhaging cash!
Well, I'm most displeased. Who'd've thunk it, (piss)artists ripping off The Xym's now legendary image and casting him as as some preposterous purple primate gripping St Stephen's tower...
...although, apparently, it was renamed during the Queens Jubly celebrations recently. Seems Her Madge has spent 50 years on "The Throne" (aka toilet) due to incessant guzzling of the pyramidial fruity Icey lolly, and so they're renamed it Elizabeth Tower.
So Big Ben is now ensconced deep in the top of Elizabeth's Tower, rather than the bell-end of St Stephen's shaft. or something.
Anyhoo, enough talk - let's see this expensive charicature for comparison...
Hold on - I don't recall wearing chains on me cufflinked cuffs!!
