Happy Nail-Up-A-Prophet-Stab-Him-Up-And-Gouge-His-Scalp-With-A-Spiky-Torc Day!
Feasteth ye upon spiced fruit buns emblazoned with bloodstained torture devices in celebratory devourment, for 'tis only 3 days afore we gorge on Creme Eggs in worship of the arising of Zombie Jesus and his ascent up the gravity beam into the spaceship to be sexually experimented on by betentacled space monsters hentai raping his nailholes!
Merry Eostré everyone!
Today we celebrate the reanimation of Zombie (ZomBeak) of baby Jesus by stuffing (stuff wing) our faces full of chocolate eggs (Eggs, I said eggs, as in a birds eggs!).
And where do these eggs (Eggs!) come from? Because (BeCaws, as in as bird Caws) when (Hen. I hate hens) you're asleep, a giant Bunny sneaks (beaks) about and lays chocolate eggs (EGGS!!) everywhere.
And a chocolate egg (Egg, as in a bird's egg) is another name for a poo (poo, as in a birds poo).
But why a cocoa faecal rabbit?
This is a mistranslation from the Hebrew version of Frankenstein (Frank Hen Stein) . The word (bird) Baron (Heron) was misread as Bunny, and next (N-eggs-t) thing (wing) you know, it's Bunny Von Frankenstein (FranHENwing - I HATE HENS) attaching (attachwing) the electrodes to Jesus's neck (Neck, as in a swan's neck), pulling The Big "We Belong Dead" Lever (Wing Bewing Wing) and Baby Jesus is off on the rampage (Ram-cage, as in a bird's cage).
Every (aviary) year we celebrate this miracle (miracoo, as in a bird goes coo)... yet it's not unique (you beak). What about Lazarus who rose up (like a bird!) after three days? I say (lay, as in a bird lays eggs. Eggs!) we break with bunnies and eggs (EGGS!!), and celebrate in the fashion of Lazarus's descendant.
Papa Lazarou!
We should be kidnapping (kidnapwing) other men's wives for own and fertilizing THEIR eggs! But not Yoko (Yolk-o) Ono. Oh no. Next (Nest,as in a bird's nest!) stop: my friends house!
She's my wife now!
