Well, Eriks of a phantasmagorical "ooh Betty" persuasion, anyway.
And not even Michael Crawfish, for that matter, but a gargantuan lumbering Brühilde of maurauding Walküre fame.
For everyone knows the old adage: The show's not over till the fat bird dances upstairs, loosening the plaster of Ἀπόλλων on the ceiling below and despositing debris on the barnets of the hoi polloi.
or something.
See, them there Health & Safety Gone Mad officials had a right old paddy over Andrew Lloyd Grossman clobbering theatregoers on the bonce with chandeliers, yet some tosh about an inquisitive canine (who performs his investigative interests once the sun goes down) gets away with showering the Shaftesbury set in poncey plaster of Paris because the artex on the ceiling has been shook loose by Bella Emberg & The Roly Polys rehearsing in the attic with Lesbian Dawson.
Dawson's creek - river of lubricated labia, more like!
They really should incorporate this into Phantom:
LA FANTOME: ♪ Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime ...
Lead me, save me from my solitude ...
Say you want me with you, here beside you ...
Anywhere you go let me go too -
Christine, that's all I ask of ... ♪
LA GROSSE DAME: What is it? What has happened? Ubaldo!
MONSIEUR ANDRÉ: Oh, my God ... my God ...
MONSIEUR FIRMIN: We're ruined, André - ruined!
MONSIEUR POSTGATE: Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a little girl and her name
was Emily. And she had a shop.
There it is!
It was rather an unusual shop because it didn't sell anything. You see,
everything in that shop window was a thing that somebody had once lost
and Emily had found, and brought home to Bagpuss. Emily's cat, Bagpuss. The
most important, the most beautiful, The most magical saggy old cloth cat in the
whole wide world.
Well now, one day Emily found a thing, and she brought it back to the shop
and put it down in front of Bagpuss who was in the shop window fast asleep
as usual. But then Emily said some magic words:
Bagpuss, dear Bagpuss
Old fat furry cat-puss
Wake up and look at this thing that I bring
Wake up, be bright
Be golden and light
Bagpuss, Oh hear what I sing
And Bagpuss was wide awake. And when Bagpuss wakes up all his friends wake up too. The mice on the mouse-organ woke up and stretched. Madeleine
the rag doll, Gabriel the toad, And last of all, Professor Yaffle, who was a very
distinguished old woodpecker. He climbed down off his bookend and went to
see what it was that Emily had brought
LA FANTOME: I think I've gone a done a whoopsie. Oooh Betty!
BETTY: Stop sticking pins under me eyes!
