Xym, I moustache you a question...

Apparently, I need to make this my Theme Tune...

Them three little words...

There's one of them twatarse chainstatuses constantly cropping up on my facebook deed:

"What three words describe you"

And everyone's putting trite cutesy bobbins, like:

"Loving, Caring, Sharing". Urgh.
or "Honest, Trustworthy, Loyal" (which make I laff when I see it's someone known to be Dishonest, Untrustworthy, Disloyal and deserving of a place on the Jeremy Kyle Show for utter fucktardery).

Me?

I just say what I am:

Absolutely fucking awesome.

And you'd be hard pressed to find anyone to disagree with THAT!!

Uncle Sam meets The Reaper...

OK, so it's more Pulled Quad than Wounded Knee o'er again...

...(kasota kasota!)...

...so I didn't make it to Londinium to see Goblin doing the live score to Profondo Rosso.

But I did make it to The Whatacunt for 80s vs 90s and my Dancing Queen!

Which hath caused consternation and uproar with my siblings!

One sister wholeheartedly approves of my Dancing Partner, whilst the other sister wants to gouge out the flashy dancing trollop's eyes in a jealous fit of rage after stealing away their brother,

Now, my Pretty, don't you be getting all jealous and/or excited reading too much into this - what, you think Xym pulled? Ha, you know nothing Jon Snow!

Once again, attached, unavailable Pretties only require the services of Xym for the sole purpose of strutting their stuff with someone stupendously stylish and awexym with rhythm... and at the Waterfront there's only Xym.

And her. The phwoarsome to my awesome.

And I suppose we'd better credit ole Antonio Banderas Double Denim'd Axl Rose Bandana'd cuban heel'd snakehips (Steve?) for the effort he puts in. Even if he does strop off in a huff coz he can't complete with us.

I pretty much OWN The Talk of an 80s night. Cor, imagine if I had someone as phwoarsome as my Waterfront Dancer there! They'd explode in stunned orgasmic awe! 

See the progress Xym hath made! He actually dances with smokin' hot Pretties!

Now we just have to finds him one that is single.

And then find a way to get him to actually talk to them. 

May the fourth, sith, ninth...

New XymArt!

Originally, this was going to have my visage gracing the top of this all Darth Maul'd up...

...but I'm not that ego-centric to plaster me all over the poster!

I was going to add photoshop up a Queen Amidala too, but my choice of nubile Naboo nymphette could well land me in deep trub, so I had to make do with John & Jon grasping their oversized weapons and flashing them about instead...

I LIKED driving in my car...

Starting motor fucked, so left The Mossmobile by t'garage. 

Forlornly trek home sans PT & BoxFit... 

...and some shit fiddling cockwrangler has parked across t'entrance to me drive! 

This is why I let things drift by now - the Fates watch out for me, and guide me on The Right Path. Clearly, if I'd ended up at PT/Boxing, I'd've crashed, or had some form of fitness injury.

Likewise, if I'd gone home, I'd've got into an altercation with the selfish driver getting them to move their illegally parked vehicle and been stabbed up or something.

So, clearly, the fates know best, and they have great plans for The Xym's future.

I just wish they'd hurry up with my Pretty. She must be something special, the amount of time it's taking them to Create The Moment that gets us together...

Awexym apologies...

cor luv a duck, strike a light, throw me dahn the ole apple and pears and call me Ishmael, is it really 5 months since I last bothered you lot?

Well crikey!

I has been, like, all dead busy and stuffs. Not to mention being too awexym for words.  I has a plethora of draft blogs a-breezing in the archival cellar of cyberwurlde, and at some point I'll get around to titting about with them and getting them online.

So what has you misseded?

Pretties! Xmas! Neffage! Giggery! Cinematicals and Televisuals! Musical escapades! Survival of multiple assassination attempts! The luring of lesbos away from labia! Being a flange magnet in general. Accruing more and more Pretties into my harem of hotties!

But more on that in future bobbins bloggery!

For I is BACK and bringing my awexymness back unto ye blogge!

Well, if I gets time...

Ooooh, who's that pillar of Awexymness on the door?

It's your welcoming slim trim Xym!

What other clubnight has a doorbloke who dances to welcome you in?

Don't he look fab!

We had complaints though. COMPLAINTS! Complaints from those (allegedly) enamoured of Xym that Xym was confined to a corner, A God In His Own Alcove, and not dancing with Pretties on the dance floor.

Mayhap this will be rectified on May 9th? Or is it better to leave him on the door to get people in the mood...