So, in my blogging absence, I have not made mention of 80s night at The Talk.
Now, last night was our second foray into the abyss, and for those who are not au fait with this fun-filled evening, it can be summed us thusly:
An evening featuring the blandest, cheesiest, most predictable hits of the 80, whose clientele tend to be overweight, overaged snaggle-toothed dresslexic behemoths, often on a hen night, whose concept of dancing is handbags-in-the-middle-one-step-left-one-step-right-regardless-of-the-song.
Helmed by 80s has-been DJs Rob & Chrissie, much fun is to be had bemoaning the choice of song, ranging from such fine fayre as Bucks Fizz's Making Your Mind Up, through Abba's Dancing Queen to Terrence Trent Reznor's We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off (to have a good time).
Much mirth mocking the mu-mu clad munters, their wholly inappropriate attire and choice of footwear, their lack of rhythm and dance style...
...but we had cider, stella and several shots of multicolored hue, so we were happy!
And when WE hit the dance floor... why, they never knew what hit them, and we went down A STORM!
Indeed - once again I garnerned yet another Fan Club following! Why, I had a veritable plethora of Prett... well, a couple of Pretties and a vast nest of trolls. Pretties are very thin on the ground there, but hell's bells - Xym made progress! He actually talked to a Pretty. Admittedly, he was with his sister who was doing most of the talking, but Xym DID actually engage in converse!
Yeah - shock horror, right! Inconcievable!
And then we went on to The WhatACunt!
And would you Adam & Eve it - I'm told I had another legion of fans all clamouring for my attentions!
Well, y'all know Xym - can't talk to Pretties, can't notice them throwing themselves at him? Well, that's not changed, but he DID actually briefly speak to Wendy II, briefly spoke to The Model and Harley Quim, and sort-of caught Purpleskirt's eye and exchanged glances...
So, I's getting better (slowly)!
Although I need to do something about my Sister, She's been informing my Fan Club of my rhythmic prowess, and spreading tales of my career as a professional dancer, and how I often appeared on Top Of The Pops.
I'd just like people to know that Jo is more than embroidering the truth a little. For the record, I was NOT a professional dancer on Top Of The Pops.
I was a professional dancer on top TV show The Hit Man And Her, touring the clubs up and down the country, culminating in Rick's Place down Anglia Square, where I was asked to leave the show after a night of passion with Strachan.
So, for the record - it was Strachan, not Savile, I was dancing for. Although I did combine the two to give Michæla some jingle jangle spangle jewellery of the pearl necklace variety. or something...
