♪ No More Starbucks Anymore ♫
So sang The Stranglers at Karaoke night down The Ferryboat (before offing off a plethora of prozzies), and how true those words are today!
For one of my tip top hot dames has despoiled my beloved beverage!
It's only 4 weeks until Autumn (or Fall¹ for our dumbed down overseas cousins), which means the second greatest latté based beverage known to man is back.
The Starbucks Pumpkin Latté!
I now has to consider this:
First up - the adding of carcinogenic ammonia! Ammonia! You know what that means.
The serving wenches are pissing in it!
Now, I'm up for golden shower just as much as you are, but I don't really want my creamy goodness ruined with warm widdle, and having to flick a barista babe's pubic lice off my cocoa dustings!
And it's made with Monsanto Milk, bulked up with GMO corn! Well, isn't Monsanto that bloke who played Khan Noonien Singh? I don't care how much he makes a Pretties noonie sing, he's not dumping his man-milk as a creamy topper on MY beverage - no matter how much Garmonbozia he's had! I'm not getting cancer off of his septic spunkings1
I don't mind 50g of sugar, and I like the sound of Ambiguous Natural Flavour, but I draw the line at them running a line from the garage and topping up my coffee with petrol... unless we're back to Tubbs Tattysyrup's petrol, which means MORE piss in my drink!
But what's more worrying is, as the photo shows, you can peel away half the cup, and the coffee remains standing! Lookit! A dirty great half cut out the cup just below the lid, and the fluid had yet to succumb to gravity!
On the plus side, with half a cup, there's nowhere to write my name, so they can't continue to spell it wrong!
¹ SO NAMED BECAUSE IT'S WHEN ALL THE LEAVES FALL OFF ALL THE TREES IS EASIER FOR AMERICANS TO REMEMBER. ASSOCIATING FALL, AND ALL, LEAVES AND TREES IS FAR EASIER FOR AMERICANS TO REMEMBER THAN THE SIMPLE EXPEDIENT OF ADHERING TO THE CALENDAR BASED DATAGE OF THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX!
