Breakfast!
Take them Americans. According to gritty crime dramas, the first meal of the morning is a KFC family fuckit!
Which is damn annoying, coz it makes me hungry for chicken coated in secret spices and in the UK the KFC don't open until mid afternoon.
So, in the UK we make do with either a 'full English' or an 'all day breakfast'. Now, apart from the fact that a full English is NEVER a full English*, I take issue with this alleged All Day Breakfast:
Firstly, how can it be an 'All Day' breakfast, if they stop serving it at 11:30?
And second, for those places that do serve it up all day, if you've already eaten previously in the day, it's no longer a breakfast coz you already "broke your fast" with the previously alluded to meal!
Anyhoo, I see Amy Winehouse has been performing some Glasto GBH. According to Michael Eejit, whilst she was singing to the crowd, some cheeky chappie got a hankering for poptart for brekkie, and copped a couple of cupfulls of the High Barnetted Beauty's fried eggs. However, a conflicting report from a Roving Reporter has it then the lad was pulling her hair... clearly after a bit of the old hash browns to go with the eggies, although purloining popstars pubes is a bit much for me that early in the morning...
Good job he didn't fancy Jay-Zeds sausage!
* FULL ENGLISH: BACON, SAUSAGE**, FRIED EGG, SCAMBLED EGG, BEANS, TOMATOES, MUSHROOMS, FRIED BREAD, BEEFBURGER, BLACK PUDDING, ONIONS, HASH BROWNS***, BREAD & BUTTER, AND TOAST.
** PROPER CYLENDRICAL SAUSAGES, NOT THEM STRANGE FLAT SQUARES OF MYSTERY MEAT
*** THIS IS THE ENGLISH EQUIVALENT OF HASH BROWNS - A TRIANGULAR LUMP OF CHOPPED POTATO IN A LIGHT CRISPY BATTER THAT'S GRILLED, BAKED OR FRIED, AS OPPOSED TO PROPER US HASH BROWNS - SHREDDED POTATO TOSSED ABOUT IN A HOT SKILLET.
