Now, the ShopGoblin has always been a strange breed of person. You can be browsing through a book in Borders, considering a computer in Curry's, or simply just groping the graprefruits in the greengrocers, and then, out of nowhere, a ShopGoblin appears:
"Need any help sir?"
Of course, not all ShopGoblins leapt out at you and obsequiously offer their services. Take Bonds (or is it John Lewis'?) - if you don't have a gold plated credit card they will avoid you like the plague!
However, all ShopGoblins have The Knack. That strange talent for knowing exactly when you do require assistance, and at that point their secret power of invisibility kicks in, and you are left bereft of helpful helpers.
Well, I say 'helpful'...
Anyhoo, it seems once they've mastered the art of invisibility, they use it for their own pervy purposes when they get employed by cut-price supermarket chains. "Damn, I need dog food!" bewails the forgetful feeder of feists. But luckily, there's a handy ShopGoblin hiding in the kennel, nobbing the dog whilst flogging cheapo tins of dog food.
Not to mention hot nudie ladies in baths - run out of shampoo? No problem, there's a ShopGoblin leching from within the linen basket, grubbing about amidst the soiled undercrackers, handing out hair wash whilst 'covering' his eyes by holding his hand a good foot in front so it looks like he's not looking, but in reality he's getting a good old gozz at her jugs as she starts moaning in orgasmic pleasure as she massages Hairball Essences into her locks. Then it's back into the wicker basket to peer through the weaves as she gets out the bath, all moist and dripping, and slowly rubbing baby oil over her body...
...I wonder if I there's any jobs going at CostCutters?
