Ghosts Of The Killer Cannibals Oven!
Ooooooookay, then!
As investigations go, hunting the unquiet spirits of digested and defacated explorers in longpig barbeque land is a tad extreme.
Not to mention going into the jungle wilds on their say so!
See, in the dim and distant past, some dumbass explorers buggered off into the deep dark Amazonian forest, where they were befriended by the potbellied pygmies.
Naturally, after a night of celebration and fornication, as the explorers slept, the hungry forest folk snuck up, knifed up the intrepid exlorers and et 'em for breakfast. Hence their restless slumbers, and floating about the foresty bewailing their lot at being nommed on by savages.
So what does our team of paranomal investigators do? Make contact with the cannibalistic conmens descendants!
"We met with the tribal spokesman, who assured us that they no longer practice cannibalism. They offered to take me to meet their chief, and if I gained his approval, they would show us the caves where the explorers were cooked up for tea with some Heinz beans and an Iron Bru. fhhhhsfhhhsfhhhsfhhhs."
You fool! Of course they'd say that! That's probably what they told them old Victorian bush-beaters! They just saw that babe in your team and wanted to nom on her jugs, fine ass, and keep the flange for a fish supper later.
Luckily for them, they had a huge TV crew documenting the celebrations, so the heathen savages were unable to trick them into climbing into a pot filled with stock and veg.
We're not cannibals, 'onest Guv!
