SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONN!...

According to that there Sky news, Facebook is marking the pages of high-profile users with plenty of followers with a blue tick to guarantee their authenticity.

What, this guy:

It's come to something when to check the veracity of a celebrities facebook account, it has to be vigilantly monitored by a ficticious superhero!

Xym's list of exciting stuff (June '13)

A list of upcoming stuffs what The Xym is sort-of looking forward to.

Jump to section:

Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Film

01 Jun 2013	The Purge All crime legal for 24 hours to ensure a crime free year.
07 Jun 2013	After Earth
07 Jun 2013	The Last Exorcism II: The Beginning Of The End So The Last Exorcism wasn't the last one then. Surely the previous should have been called The Penumtimate Exorcism, and this film called The Last Exorcism? What a bunch of retards!
14 Jun 2013	Man Of Steel Zack Snyder reboots Superman…
12 Jul 2013	Monsters University Prequel to Monsters Inc.
12 Jul 2013	Pacific Rim Guillero Del Toro's Kaiju homage. Giant sea monsters awaken, only to be fought off by giant robots piloted by humans!
19 Jul 2013	Kick Ass 2: Balls To The Wall
19 Jul 2013	The World's End Final part in Pegg/Frost's Blood & Ice Cream trilogy
21 Jul 2013	World War Z Worldwide zombie wars
26 Jul 2013	Wolverine, The Hugh Jackman in another X-Men sequel
?? Jul 2013	Robopocalypse Spielberg adap of Daniel H Wilson Rise Of The Machines type novel
09 Aug 1013	The Lone Ranger Johnny Depp as Tonto… Also Helena Bonham-Carter's in it… Depp & Helena and NO Tim Burton in sight!
23 Aug 2013	Jurassic Park 3D Yes, re-release with post production 3D…
20 Sep 2013	Elysium
04 Oct 2013	Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For
25 Oct 2013	Paranormal Activity 5 Oh Christ… on and on it goes. And guess what - PA6 has been signed off too!
08 Nov 2013	Thor: The Dark World Christopher Eccleston cast as Malekith
22 Nov 2013	Hunger Games 2: Catching Fire
01 Dev 2013	The Conjuring
13 Dec 2013	Hobbit #2: The Desolation Of Smaug
?? ??? 2013	Dario Argento's Dracula 3D Premiered 19 May 2012 - still awaiting UK release date...
07 Feb 2014	Robocop Remake… and Robocop will have a visor so you can see Murphy's eyes/face. Gary Oldman cast (prob not as Murphy tho')
14 Mar 2014	Maleficent Angelina Jolie cast as Maleficient (looks awesome in the teaser pics)
04 Apr 2014	Captain America: The Winter Soldier
02 May 2014	The Amazing Spider-Man 2
16 May 2014	Ninja Turtles Megan Fox cast as April O'Neill. Oh dear…
23 May 2014	Dawn of the Planet of the Apes Sequel to Tise of the Planet of the Apes being fast-tracked. Andy Serkis mo-capping again.
16 May 2014	Godzilla Warner Brothers reboot. Again.
29 Jun 2014	Transformers 4
18 Jul 2014	X-Men: Days Of Future Past Or X-Men: First Class 2, if you prefer
01 Aug 2014	Guardians of the Galaxy
12 sep 2014	Resident evil 6 More leather clad loveliness!
?? Sep 2014	Being Frank: The Chis Sievey Story Actual bio-pic about Chris Sievey/Frank Sidebottom. Kickstarter begins 1 May
21 Nov 2014	Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay pt 1
?? Dec 2014	Hobbit #3: There And Back Again
01 May 2015	Avengers 2 Announced 8/8/2012 - Joss Whedon returning to write and direct!
06 Nov 2015	Ant-Man
20 Nov 2015	Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay pt 2
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Blu-Ray

03 Jun 2013	Dexter (series 7)
03 Jun 2013	The ABCs Of Death Mental Japanese anthology of 26 tales of wacko murders by alphabet…
17 Jun 2013	Mama
08 Oct 2013	American Horror Story: Asylum
?? ??? 2013	War of the Worlds: Goliath 3D Manga-esque steampunk sequel to WotW (sort of like Scarlet Traces). Release forever being put back…
?? ??? ????	Evangelion 3.33: You Can [not] Redo
?? ??? ????	Kill Bill Redux Volumes 1 & 2 re-edited into one movie
?? ??? ????	Nightbreed: The Cabal Cut Remember Nightbreed? Snatched out of Clive Barker's hands and the last minute and butchered into a crapfest that made no sense, lost the whole plot and now impossible to get hold of? Well, Clive Barker recently found his VHS copies of the original footage that was thought lost. The film has been painstakingly reconstructed and re-edited to reflect the original vision. This "rough cut" is apparently really fucking brilliant, and pisses all over that shambles that was originally hacked to pieces for the original 1990 release. Obvs, as the extra footage is from Clive Barkers personal VHS collection, it's not great picture quality. However, turns out the "lost" footage isn't lost at all - Morgan Creek are still in possession of it! A negotiation has been agreed for them to release the footage for an uncut special Blu-Ray release... as long as they don't have to pay to produce it. WATCH THIS SPACE!!
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Gigs

05 Jun 2013	Pout At The Devil Norwich WhatACunt
15 Jun 2013	Blondie Theford Forest Support by The Lightning Seeds
16 Jun 2013	Rammstein Download Festival
21 Sep 2013	Liqueur: A Tribute to The Cure Slimelight *Provisional date TBC*
22 Oct 2013	The Cult Norwich UEA
26 Oct 2013	Hazel O'Connor Norwich WhatACunt
19 Nov 2013	Depeché Mode The O2, Londinium If I can get hold of tickets!
11 Dec 2013	The Damned Norwich UEA
18 Dec 2013	Fields of the Nephilim/The Mission O2 Academy, Brixton
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Music

?? ??? 2013	Fields of the Nephilim New Album! They were actually in the studio recording New Material on 9th Dec 2012!!
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Games

14 Jun 2013	Animal Crossing 3Ds
?? ??? 2013	T7G:3 Yay! Kickstarter begins.. Somepoint soon...
?? ??? 2013	The 11th Hour: iOS Possibly…
?? ??? 2013	The 13th Doll Yay! Kickstarter begins.. Somepoint soon...
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Books

18 Jun 2013	The Ocean At The End Of The Lane Neil Gaiman New novel for adults
?? ??? 2013	Necroscope: The Möbius Murders Lumley, Brian
?? Dec 2013	Discworld: Raising Steam Pratchett, Terry
?? ??? ????	The Chickens of Atlantis and other Foul and Filthy Fiends Rankin, Robert
?? ??? ????	The Abominable Showman Rankin, Robert
?? ??? ????	The Crow Shirley, John. New graphic Mini-series, set in Tokyo
?? ??? ????	The Sandman Neil Gaiman - Yes, Neil is writing a new Sandman! This will cover the events Morpheus mentioned prior to his capture by Burgess. From Neil himself: "When I finished writing The Sandman, there was one tale still untold. The story of what had happened to Morpheus to allow him to be so easily captured in The Sandman #1, and why he was returned from far away, exhausted beyond imagining, and dressed for war. It was a story that we discussed telling for Sandman's 20th anniversary... but the time got away from us. And now, with Sandman's 25th anniversary year coming up, I'm delighted, and nervous, that that story is finally going to be told,"
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Audiodrama

?? Aug 2013	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #5 TBA
?? Nov 2013	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #6 TBA
?? ?? 2013	Retromancer Blinder of a script written… just needs funding…
?? Feb 2014	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #7 TBA
?? May 2014	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #8 TBA
?? Aug 2014	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #9 TBA
?? Nov 2014	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #10 TBA
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

TV

Spring 2013	In The Flesh Zombies redefined as "people with a medical condition" and home to their families.
Summer 2013	Stephen King's Under The Dome Serialised into 13 parts. Airs 24/06 on CBS in the USA
Autumn 2013	Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Renamed, as obviously S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't enough of a title!
?? ??? 2013	Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell Showing in UK on: BBC1 Adaptation of Susanna Clarke's novel
?? ??? ????	A.L.F. Yes, they're bringing back ALF from 1980s Melmak…
?? ??? ????	Amazon Reboot of Wonder Woman with a new origins story… renaming Diana Prince as Iris…
?? ??? ????	American Gods HBO mini series being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Produced by Tom Hanks.
?? ??? ????	Amnerican Horror Story: Coven Kathy Bates now cast in Season 3
?? ??? ????	Bates Motel Psycho: Norman Bates, The Early Years… oh dear…
?? ??? ????	Blake's 7 Picked up by SyFy. Now confirmed 13 part series reboot, not a continuation
?? ??? ????	DaVinci's Demons
?? ??? ????	Dracula 10 part series featuring Jonathan Rhys Meyers as The Count
?? ??? ????	Exorcist: The Beginning Spin-off series
?? ??? ????	Gotham
?? ??? ????	Grimm (Series 3) New series comissioned
?? ??? ????	The Hulk Guillermo Del Toro on hold…
?? ??? ????	The IT Crowd New one-off special being made
?? ??? ????	Johnny Mnemonic New Series. Probably without Fat Keanu!
?? ??? ????	Journey To The West 13 part serial being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Probably better known as Monkey! in the UK
?? ??? ????	Neighbours A family move into a new neighbourhood, where the residents are all aliens…
?? ??? ????	New Nabors A family's neighbours turn out to be The Muppets! What's not to like!!
?? ??? ????	Once Upon A Time (Series 3) New series comissioned
?? ??? ????	Once: Wonderland Spin-off series from Once Upon A Time. Pilot about to be aired.
?? ??? ????	Space 2099 Yes, they're rebooting Gerry Anderson's Space 1999 in a new century…
?? ??? ????	Star Wars: Underworld
?? ??? 2015	Thunderbirds CGI Puppetry…
?? ??? 2015	The Tomorrow People Reboot…
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Films In Development

?? ??? 2012	[●REC]4: Apocalypse
?? ??? 2012	Exists Sasquatch hunts humans. From the people who brought you The Blair Witch Project. Oh dear.
?? ??? 2012	Bill & Ted #3
?? ??? 2013	Day of the Triffids Sam "Evil Dead" Raimi producing
?? ??? 2013	Dominion: Dinosaurs vs Aliens Barry Sonnenfield directing Grant Morrisson's adap of his graphic novel
?? ??? 2013	Dracula Eli Roth directing Russell Crowe as Drac…
?? ??? 2013	Frank Loose biopic based on the career of Chris Sievey/Frank Sidebottom..
?? ??? 2013	Girl Who Played With Fire David Fincher's remake of the 2nd Millenium Movie
?? ??? 2013	Human Centipede III: Final Sequence Yes, it's been scripted and the cast signed on to reprise their HC2 roles…
?? ??? 2013	Last Voyage of The Demeter The bit in Dracula where The Count travels in his coffin from Transylvania to England. Expanded into a movie with Viggo "Aragorn, son of Arathorn" Mortensen
?? ??? 2013	Pride and Prejudice... and Zombies
?? ??? 2013	Rentaghost: The Movie Russell Brand has been replaced by Ben Stiller as Fred Mumford
?? ??? 2013	Short Circuit Remake. Oh Mr Johnny Five, this good news, no?
?? ??? 2013	Stephen King's The Stand Remake - latest is that it may be split into several films or another mini-series.
?? ??? 2013	Suspiria Back on again (probably without Natalie Portman now)
?? ??? 2014	Crimson Peak Guillermo Del Toro scary stuff
?? ??? 2014	Jurassic Park 4 Kicking off a new trilogy… oh dearie me…
?? ??? 2014	The Night Stalker Johnny Depp as Kolchak in the film adap of the series
?? ??? 2014	Pinocchio Guillermo del Toro directing
?? ??? 2014	Woman in Black: Angels of Death Hammer's [unnecessary] sequel to The Woman In Black set 20 years later…
?? ??? 2014	Zorro Reborn "The Fox" is rebooted!
Summer 2015	Justice League
?? ??? 2015	Avatar 2
?? ??? 2015	Doctor Who David "Harry Potter" Yates taking it on
?? ??? 2015	Shaun The Sheep Cracking new movie, Gromit!
?? ??? 2015	Star Wars: Episode VII JJ Abrams to direct. George Lucas has written the first draft of the screenplays for parts 7, 8 & 9…
?? ??? 2016	Angry Birds 3D YES! An animated movie about the recovery of eggs from thieving porkers by temper infused avians!
?? ??? 2017	Star Wars: Episode VIII
?? ??? 2019	Star Wars: Episode IX
?? ??? ????	20,000 leagues Under The Sea David Fincher directing. Starts Brad Pitt
?? ??? ????	Abarat Adap of books 1 & 2 of Clive Barker's series. To be produced once books 3 & 5 published.
?? ??? ????	The Amazing Spider-Man 3
?? ??? ????	Assassins Creed Michael Fassbender to star as Altair
?? ??? ????	Atlantis Rising Comic book adap - may be a miniseries?
?? ??? ????	Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Remake in development! Possibly late 2012, or sometime in 2013.
?? ??? ????	Avatar 3
?? ??? ????	Avatar 4 Only a possibility of Avatar 4 at moment
?? ??? ????	Batman Reboot (for a change!). Apparenly, due to the Avengers success, this one is to begin setting up a JLA movie.
?? ??? ????	Beetlejuice 2 Tim Burton back at the helm, and Michael Keaton now signed on to reprise role as Beetlejuice! Written by Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, etc
?? ??? ????	The Black Hole Remake of 1979 classic! I used to have a B.O.B. model kit… wonder if it's in me mum's attic...
?? ??? ????	Blade Runner 2 No prequel, and Harrison Ford WON'T be in it… unless Ridley decides he can have a brief cameo.
?? ??? ????	Boy Scouts vs Zombies Jesus. It gets worse…
?? ??? ????	Carpe Diem: The Adventures of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom With a title like that, I gotta see it!
?? ??? ????	The Crow Luke Evans (who?) now cast as Eric Draven
?? ??? ????	Dungeons & Dragons Reboot. Please let there be no Niles or Ridley…
?? ??? ????	Enormous André "TrollHunter" Øvredal adapting the comic strip for film, webisodes and TV… hold on… weren't they doing that with The Dark Tower? Looks where that's ended up - dropped into Limbo…
?? ??? ????	Escape From New York Back on. Again. Jason Statham and Tom Hardy in the frame for Snake. Oh dear…
?? ??? ????	Evangelion Live action. Embroid in legal wrangles.
?? ??? ????	Fantastic Four Reboot… Matthew Vaughn producing, Seth Grahame-Smith
?? ??? ????	Farscape Movie in discussions…
?? ??? ????	Flight of the Navigator Remake of the '80s classic
?? ??? ????	Frankenstein Harry Potter himself (Daniel Radcliffe) cast as…. Igor! Imagine that! Igor!
?? ??? ????	Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest Remake of the 3rd Millenium Movie
?? ??? ????	The Graveyard Book Henry Selick adapting another Neil Gaiman book.
?? ??? ????	Heaven Sent Dark Universe Now retitled. Guillermo Del Toro's takes on DC/Vertigo. Deadman, The Spectre, Alec Holland, John Constantine, The Stranger, Zatanna, Zatara, Sargon and Etrigan. (Oooh, A Murder Of Crows from Saga Of The Swamp Thing?)
?? ??? ????	Hellboy 3 Guillermo Del Toro has started work on it!
?? ??? ????	Hellraiser In development
?? ??? ????	Here There Be Monsters 18th Century sea monster stuff
?? ??? ????	Highlander Reboot up again…
?? ??? ????	I Am Legend 2 How can he be a legend again? Oh, he wasn't in the first film either… JUST MAKE "I AM LEGEND" PROPERLY!
?? ??? ????	The Incredible Shrinking Man Although… some are referring to Ant Man by the same name. Same film, or just 2 incredibly shrinking blokes…?
?? ??? ????	Stephen King's 'IT' Back on again! Cary Fukunaga relaces David Kajganich as writer, and becomes director. Also, it's being split into 2 movies (like the mini-series, then!)
?? ??? ????	Jitters Giant killer insects…
?? ??? ????	Legend of Conan As if Rocky Balboa and John J. Rambo's decrepit outings of an ancient weren't enough OAP porn for ya, Arnie returns in Conan: The Old Gimmer or some such!
?? ??? ????	Little Shop Of Horrors Remake of the Musical version, developed by (and starring) Joseph Gordon-Levitt
?? ??? ????	Logan's Run Rumour is the remake's back on again…
?? ??? ????	Masters Of The Universe Prince Adam of Eternia returns as He-Man!
?? ??? ????	MIB IV Men In Black sequel green lit
?? ??? ????	Monsters: Dark Continent Sequel to Monsters. As of the original borefest wasn't enough tedium for anyone, they want to bore us to death again!
?? ??? ????	Monty Python's… Untitled tale of aliens giving superpowers to a human for laughs. All the remaining Pythons… except, of course, Eric Idle who's refusing at the moment.
?? ??? ????	The Mummy Part of Universal's 100 year celebrations, another reboot
?? ??? ????	Myst Right. Latest is that there were… disagreements... on how to proceed. Those set on adapting The Book Of Ti'ana, and who though that wasn't a good introduction to Myst and wanted a new direction. Acrimonious splits ensued. When film the rights came to the end of the option period, a second lease was refused, and the option has been passed to Delve Films. Amongst the bitching, the film is slowly being developed again... but I wouoldn't hold my breath if I were me!
?? ??? ????	Necroscope FX Artist Glenn Hetrick (one of the judges on SyFy channel's "Face Off") has announced he is working on the project!
?? ??? ????	Neuromancer Adap of William Gibson novel
?? ??? ????	Night Of The Living Tim Burton & Seth Grahame-Smith developing
?? ??? ????	Paranormal Activity 6
?? ??? ????	Pirates of the Carribean 5 FFS
?? ??? ????	Poltergeist Sam Raimi remaking
?? ??? ????	Prometheus 2 Script now being written…
?? ??? ????	Shadow of the Colossus Adaptation of the game
?? ??? ????	Tape 4 Some Lovecratian terror!
?? ??? ????	Time After Time Remake of the 80s classic - Jack The Ripper escapes to modern times in HG Wells Time Machine, chased by… HG Wells himself!
?? ??? ????	Timecrimes US Remake of the Spanish classic
?? ??? ????	Triplets! Sequel to Twins! Schwarzenegger and DeVito discover their long-lost Brother (Eddie Murphy)… Recently confirmed by DeVito as actually being in development. Oh dear….
?? ??? ????	Tron 3 Confirmed by Bruce Boxleitner!
?? ??? ????	Two Worlds Colliding Michael Hutchence/INXS biopic
?? ??? ????	Van Helsing Reboot, with Tom Cruise as Van Helsing…
?? ??? ????	Venom Spidey-Man spin off
?? ??? ????	Videodrome Remake back on the table…
?? ??? ????	Wayne's World 3 Mike Myers has written a first draft…
?? ??? ????	Weird Science Remake. Time to legitimately wear a bra on your head without looking like a pervy tranny…
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

In Limbo

IN LIMBO	Akira Production once again halted…
IN LIMBO	At The Mountains Of Madness Guillerro Del Toro's plans are ruined. Ridley Scott's Prometheus is more-or-lese the same concept.
IN LIMBO	Chrome Pendragon Pictures sci-fi flick
IN LIMBO	Stephen King's The Dark Tower Dropped (again!). Hoping to be picked up by another company…
IN LIMBO	Forbidden Planet Remake written & directed by Babylon 5's J. Michael Straczynski
IN LIMBO	Ghostbusters 3 Officially dead. Bill Murray has said NO WAY, and unless he's on board, there will be no movie
IN LIMBO	Good Omens Gaiman/Pratchett movie adaptation to be directed by Terry Gilliam
IN LIMBO	Hawk The Hunter Sequel to Hawk The Slayer, currently awaiting funding.
IN LIMBO	Hawk The Destroyer Final in the Hawk trilogy. Presumably waiting for funding, or after Hawk The Hunter
IN LIMBO	Hallowe'en Reboot on hold, whilst they concentrate on he Hellraiser remake
IN LIMBO	Hallowe'en III 3D Either a remake of the Nigel Kneale Silver Shamrock version, or a sequel to Rob Zombie's crapfest
IN LIMBO	Hulk 3 Joss Whedon says there are no current plans for more Hulk except in Avengers 2
ON HOLD	Jurassic Park 4 Only temporarily. Allegedly…
IN LIMBO	Neverwhere Gaiman movie adaptation awaiting a director
IN LIMBO	Power of the Dark Crystal Sequel to The Dark Crystal Back on hold as of 21 Feb 2012, as OmniLab cut all funding due to the failure of their crap film 'The Killer Elite'. The Henson Group may speak to them later in 2012 about further development, or seek a new partner, or can the whole project. Again.
IN LIMBO	Sandman Gaiman TV Series adaptation awaiting a suitable director - Eric Kripke (Supernatural) was promising, but eventually turned down.
IN LIMBO	Tripods, The Movie adaptation of the trilogy, re-set in America.
IN LIMBO	Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, Teresa Banks And The Last Seven Days Of Laura Palmer Remastered DVD/Blu-Ray with deleted scenes
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Last month

28 May 2013	Depeché Mode
17 May 2013	Star Trek: Into Darkness
16 May 2013	Then Jericho
13 May 2013	Les Miserablés
13 May 2013	Blood of Dragons
?? May 2013	Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #4
?? May 2013	Blake's 7: Lucifer
03 May 2013	Simple Minds
02 May 2013	OMD
Jump to section:	Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month ---

Just can't get it up...

*main set* 
  ♪ Welcome To My World
    ♪ Angel
      ♪ In Your Room (zephyr mix)
        ♪ Precious
          ♪ Behind The Wheel
            ♪ World In My Eyes
              ♪ Should Be Higher
                ♪ Barrel Of A Gun
                  ♪ Only When I Lose Myself (Martin Gore Solo)
                    ♪ When The Body Speaks (Martin Gore Solo)
                      ♪ Heaven
                        ♪ Soothe My Soul
                          ♪ John The Revelator
                            ♪ Soft Touch/Raw Nerve
                              ♪ Secret to the End
                                ♪ Enjoy The Silence
                                  ♪ Personal Jesus
                                    ♪ Goodbye
*encore* 
  ♫ Home (acoustic)
    ♫ Halo (Goldfrapp remix)
      ♫ Just Can't Get Enough
        ♫ I Feel You
          ♫ Never Let Me Down Again

Depeché Mode, Delta Machine tour, The O2, Greenwich, Londinium, 29th May
Support by Trentemøller. Who were shite. Started off OK, got worse, terrible, then started ripping of The Cure. Used the main riff of Close To Me, then lifted the entire start of Lullaby. Much grrrrrrrrrrr!

Cracking limbs, Gromit...

...and by cracking, I mean fracturing. Broken. Dislocated and amputated.

You know the Cheese Rolling Festival, where one loon lobs a lump of cheese down an extremely precipitous slope, and then a horde of gormsters charge down the trecherous incline after it, often landing in a tangled mess of injury at the bottom?

Well, in order to make it safer, they're replacing the 8lb truckle of Gloucester Gloucester with a ball of foam.

Now, I'm no expert, but I'm at a loss as to how switching a rounded block of dairycow smegma for a hastily carved slice of Tempur mattress will prevent the snapping and concussions accumulated whilst tripping and tumbling down a virtual cliff face.

Perhaps if they roll enough foamy cheese, then it makes a cushion at the bottom of the hill, providing a soft, bouncy bed to roll upon at final descent. Which puts the first lot of poor buggers at somewhat of a disadvantage, what with only umpteen suicidal pratts pratfalling down a precipice at a lone small ball of foam.

Besides, most injuries are incurred in the actually charge down, and they fall and bounce down the hill, bashing their bonce and breaking their bones and rupturing their ribs and dying an' orrible death surrounded by naught but a suspicious whiff of cheese sending you into the afterlife.

It's health and safety gone mad - no, not mad - ineffectual!

"Oo-arr. It be dangerous around these 'ere parts. Them stange folk hurtling down yon hill after a cheese and getting orl injured in ye process. Oi knows. If we's swap that cheese for a bit o'foam, we'll be larfin'"
"Why boi? Why we be larfin?"
"Cuz we'll be a-larfin' at them thar village idiots trying to avoid a foam ball in yon wind, tripping over it as it entangles their feets, thus causing further injury though increased tumblement"
"It be Haunch Of Foolish Boi for tea then, Pa?"
"Aye, lad. Aye. You go scrape up them wot's left in the ditch, and we'll have us a BBQ"

Teatime, teatime...

Earl Grey tea time

teatime, teatime

Oh the cream tea time!

I will have my teatime
my teatime
cream tea time!
The only scone thats left is mine!
I will have my tea time!

Teatime, teatime

Earl Grey tea time

Teatime, teatime

Oh the cream tea time!

I will cut my crusts off

my crusts off

my crusts off

Cucumber sarnies on the lawn

I won't have no crusts on!

Teatime, teatime

Earl Grey tea time

Teatime, teatime

Oh the cream tea time!

I will have my teatime
my teatime
cream tea time!
A cherry scone with cream and jam
I will have my tea time!

Ah, nowt better after picnicing in the park than pigging out on a pair of thick buttered scones and a knickerbocker glory!