Too stressed.
Panic attacks.
Xym has gone all quiet on the blogging front. Which, if you're reading this, you may not have noticed, as at the time of writing it's stored in Draft Mode, and will be published with all the other draft blogs in a job lot later.
Why the stoppage? Well the misery of a stressed out Xym looms over such bloggery, and the usual jocular overtone isn't as humourescent as The Xym would like it to be.
So they'll be published later, and there'll be such a block of blogs to wade through, (hopefully) everyone will miss the miserable period!
Mwah ha ha ha ha!
Sunday 30 June 2013
Saturday 29 June 2013
Xymon Milat, The Bacon Backpack Bewailer...
Honestly!
If fireyarms were legal in the UK, I'd be shootin' up punks more than George Zimmerframe stalking black burglars who take exception to being followed by creepy ass men lurking in hedges on the prowl for black ass to rape. Backpackers buried in Belango State Forest? Gunned into shallow graves in Fiddlewood Woods, more like!
or something.
Anyhoo, it all started with a Saturday Breakfast.
The Xym, being all stressed and glum, decided to pop to the market for a bacon bap. Mmmmmm... bacon bap!
So, this time, I used BsTs, which presumably stands for Bacon's Terribles! Not only did they replace my Bap with an oversized crusty breadstick, the bacon itself was green. Irridescent green!
Like petrol-reflective shimmery green, but not shifting in the light as you move. The actual bacon was green, like some scaley green baconfish.
So I didn't eat that!
So, I popped to George's next door (where I normally have their fantasic Big Brekkie when I'm celebrating) and had a yummy yumscious baconian meal of the proper sandwich persuasion.
And here is where homicidal Xym comes in.
As I stood there, blissfully baconing, some gobshite decided to sit on the chair.
At 90° to the counter, with his back to me.
Without removing his backpack.
What is it about backpacks that turn people into right selfish cunts?
I mean, I get the fact it's a backpack, so belongs on your back, but surely common courtesy would dictate you remove it from your back and carry it in confined areas?
But not only do these dumbasses refuse to remove their rambling gear - they tend to swivel more than normal folk would. Presumably from the momemtum of their Quasimodonian lump upon their back.
They barge through, taking up the space of two people (because it's never a small, thin, backpack, it's always a huge, overstuffed bulging hump protruding from between their shoulders.
Oh, we're at a gig... and here comes a bopping backpacker. "'scuse me. coming through, coming through", whilst wacking people with his backpack. Turn here, wallop a few more. Turn to apologize whilst clobbering the clubbers on t'other side.
Like this cuntbubble, plonks himself into a tight space, mahoosive hump overspills the chair and spills me milky coffee. Turns to apologize, and almost takes the eye out of a mobility scootering scooterer. Reverts to original position with backback overhanging my latter half of sarnie.
Just take it off and put it between yer legs!
Squirming through a crowd - take it off and carry it in one hand.
Alternatively, give Xym a rifle and one of them there Licence To Kill Backpacking Bastards With No Manners!
If fireyarms were legal in the UK, I'd be shootin' up punks more than George Zimmerframe stalking black burglars who take exception to being followed by creepy ass men lurking in hedges on the prowl for black ass to rape. Backpackers buried in Belango State Forest? Gunned into shallow graves in Fiddlewood Woods, more like!
or something.
Anyhoo, it all started with a Saturday Breakfast.
The Xym, being all stressed and glum, decided to pop to the market for a bacon bap. Mmmmmm... bacon bap!
So, this time, I used BsTs, which presumably stands for Bacon's Terribles! Not only did they replace my Bap with an oversized crusty breadstick, the bacon itself was green. Irridescent green!
Like petrol-reflective shimmery green, but not shifting in the light as you move. The actual bacon was green, like some scaley green baconfish.
So I didn't eat that!
So, I popped to George's next door (where I normally have their fantasic Big Brekkie when I'm celebrating) and had a yummy yumscious baconian meal of the proper sandwich persuasion.
And here is where homicidal Xym comes in.
As I stood there, blissfully baconing, some gobshite decided to sit on the chair.
At 90° to the counter, with his back to me.
Without removing his backpack.
What is it about backpacks that turn people into right selfish cunts?
I mean, I get the fact it's a backpack, so belongs on your back, but surely common courtesy would dictate you remove it from your back and carry it in confined areas?
But not only do these dumbasses refuse to remove their rambling gear - they tend to swivel more than normal folk would. Presumably from the momemtum of their Quasimodonian lump upon their back.
They barge through, taking up the space of two people (because it's never a small, thin, backpack, it's always a huge, overstuffed bulging hump protruding from between their shoulders.
Oh, we're at a gig... and here comes a bopping backpacker. "'scuse me. coming through, coming through", whilst wacking people with his backpack. Turn here, wallop a few more. Turn to apologize whilst clobbering the clubbers on t'other side.
Like this cuntbubble, plonks himself into a tight space, mahoosive hump overspills the chair and spills me milky coffee. Turns to apologize, and almost takes the eye out of a mobility scootering scooterer. Reverts to original position with backback overhanging my latter half of sarnie.
Just take it off and put it between yer legs!
Squirming through a crowd - take it off and carry it in one hand.
Alternatively, give Xym a rifle and one of them there Licence To Kill Backpacking Bastards With No Manners!
Friday 28 June 2013
The Taverham Titty Terrorists of Bra Bombing Beauty...
...or something.
Right, last year I saw a poster for an Event. This year I saw a new poster for the same event.
As you can see, this is quite an average poster.
Nothing wrong with that - Exploding Brass! A Norfolk accompanyment to The Last Night Of Them There Promenades.
But just like last year, I look at that poster.
And I don't see that poster.
I see this poster.
As you can see, this is quite an average poster.
Nothing wrong with that - Exploding Brass! A Norfolk accompanyment to The Last Night Of Them There Promenades.
But just like last year, I look at that poster.
And I don't see that poster.
I see this poster.
Thursday 27 June 2013
Pooperman Poo...
Dreadful!
Superman is a really odd shape. Especially his face.
Lois Lane has a really cute nose... but that's about it!
The Phantom Zone isn't even a spinny bit of mirror'd glass!
Zod is no Zod. And can't act.
Ursa is... definately not Ursa! The sexy slut with the slit at the top of her legs1. She's some war veteran battleaxe in armour called Ferrero Roché or something.
And as for the "plot"... by God it was ever so dull! Plot hole after plot hole after HUGE plot hole!
I won't be buying THAT on Blu-Ray then!
1 THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR LUSCIOUS LADIES WITH LONG LITHE LIMBS IN SLUTTY PVC SLITTED TROUSERS SLIT RIGHT UP TO THE HIP! URSA JUST OOZES 50 SHADES OF KRYPTONITE! OH MY!! FERRARI IS JUST A MISERY ARSE. MAY AS WELL HAVE JUST CAST MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ AS THE POUTYPUERTO-RICAN INTERPLANETARY SPACE MONSTER FROM THE KRYPTON FACTOR2 WITH AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM WHO LIKES TO DUFF PEOPLE UP A LOT.
2 OR THE KRYPTON FUCKED HER, AS SHE WAS CLEARLY GETTING IT ON WITH ZOD. NOT TO MENTION LOIS SNOGGING SUPERMAN - HE'S A SPACE MONSTER! IT'S LIKE BEASTIALITY - SHAGGING PREDATOR, THEM WAR OF THE WORLDS MARTIANS WITH THEIR TRIPOD "THIRD LEG", OR THAT BETENTACLED BEASTIE IN SUPER 8. IT'S JUST WRONG - LOIS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? ALIEN SPUNK FROM SPACE UP YER SNATCH INDEED.
Superman is a really odd shape. Especially his face.
Lois Lane has a really cute nose... but that's about it!
The Phantom Zone isn't even a spinny bit of mirror'd glass!
Zod is no Zod. And can't act.
Ursa is... definately not Ursa! The sexy slut with the slit at the top of her legs1. She's some war veteran battleaxe in armour called Ferrero Roché or something.
And as for the "plot"... by God it was ever so dull! Plot hole after plot hole after HUGE plot hole!
I won't be buying THAT on Blu-Ray then!
1 THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR LUSCIOUS LADIES WITH LONG LITHE LIMBS IN SLUTTY PVC SLITTED TROUSERS SLIT RIGHT UP TO THE HIP! URSA JUST OOZES 50 SHADES OF KRYPTONITE! OH MY!! FERRARI IS JUST A MISERY ARSE. MAY AS WELL HAVE JUST CAST MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ AS THE POUTY
2 OR THE KRYPTON FUCKED HER, AS SHE WAS CLEARLY GETTING IT ON WITH ZOD. NOT TO MENTION LOIS SNOGGING SUPERMAN - HE'S A SPACE MONSTER! IT'S LIKE BEASTIALITY - SHAGGING PREDATOR, THEM WAR OF THE WORLDS MARTIANS WITH THEIR TRIPOD "THIRD LEG", OR THAT BETENTACLED BEASTIE IN SUPER 8. IT'S JUST WRONG - LOIS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? ALIEN SPUNK FROM SPACE UP YER SNATCH INDEED.
Wednesday 26 June 2013
Xym's list of exciting stuff (July '13)...
A list of upcoming stuffs what The Xym is sort-of looking forward to.
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 12 Jul 2013 | Monsters University Prequel to Monsters Inc. |
| 12 Jul 2013 | Pacific Rim Guillero Del Toro's Kaiju homage. Giant sea monsters awaken, only to be fought off by giant robots piloted by humans! |
| 19 Jul 2013 | The World's End Final part in Pegg/Frost's Blood & Ice Cream trilogy |
| 25 Jul 2013 | Wolverine, The Hugh Jackman in another X-Men sequel |
| ?? Jul 2013 | Robopocalypse Spielberg adap of Daniel H Wilson Rise Of The Machines type novel |
| 02 Aug 1013 | The Conjuring |
| 09 Aug 1013 | The Lone Ranger Johnny Depp as Tonto… Also Helena Bonham-Carter's in it… Depp & Helena and NO Tim Burton in sight! |
| 14 Aug 2013 | Kick Ass 2: Balls To The Wall |
| 23 Aug 2013 | Elysium |
| 23 Aug 2013 | Jurassic Park 3D Yes, re-release with post production 3D… |
| 23 Aug 2013 | The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones |
| 06 Sep 2013 | The Chronicles Of Riddick: Riddick |
| 06 Sept 2013 | Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For |
| 25 Oct 2013 | Paranormal Activity 5 Oh Christ… on and on it goes. And guess what - PA6 has been signed off too! |
| 30 Oct 2013 | Thor: The Dark World Christopher Eccleston cast as Malekith |
| 22 Nov 2013 | Hunger Games 2: Catching Fire |
| 29 Nov 2013 | Stephen King's Carrie Remake hits the UK (Chloe Grace Mortez as Carrie, Julianne Moore as the mother) |
| 01 Dev 2013 | The Conjuring |
| 13 Dec 2013 | Hobbit #2: The Desolation Of Smaug |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Dario Argento's Dracula 3D Premiered 19 May 2012 - still awaiting UK release date... |
| 07 Feb 2014 | Robocop Remake… and Robocop will have a visor so you can see Murphy's eyes/face. Gary Oldman cast (prob not as Murphy tho') |
| 14 Mar 2014 | Maleficent Angelina Jolie cast as Maleficient (looks awesome in the teaser pics) |
| 04 Apr 2014 | Captain America: The Winter Soldier |
| 02 May 2014 | The Amazing Spider-Man 2 |
| 16 May 2014 | Ninja Turtles Megan Fox cast as April O'Neill. Oh dear… |
| 23 May 2014 | Dawn of the Planet of the Apes Sequel to Tise of the Planet of the Apes being fast-tracked. Andy Serkis mo-capping again. |
| 16 May 2014 | Godzilla Warner Brothers reboot. Again. |
| 29 Jun 2014 | Transformers 4 |
| 17 Jul 2014 | X-Men: Days Of Future Past Or X-Men: First Class 2, if you prefer |
| 01 Aug 2014 | Guardians of the Galaxy |
| 12 sep 2014 | Resident evil 6 More leather clad loveliness! |
| ?? Sep 2014 | Being Frank: The Chis Sievey Story Actual bio-pic about Chris Sievey/Frank Sidebottom. Kickstarter begins 1 May |
| 21 Nov 2014 | Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay pt 1 |
| ?? Dec 2014 | Hobbit #3: There And Back Again |
| 01 May 2015 | Avengers 2 Foss Whedon returning to write and direct! Now features Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch |
| 06 Nov 2015 | Ant-Man |
| 20 Nov 2015 | Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay pt 2 |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 05 Jul 2013 | A Field In England Reece Shearsmith and Julian Barratt in this surreal mental movie. Cinema, DVD, FreeTV, Ondemand, etc - all released at once! |
| 29 Jul 2013 | Evil Dead Needless to say Xym won't be buying this pile o' shite. Well, not until it's in the 5 for £30 offer or something. |
| 29 Jul 2013 | The Possession French spookyness. All I know about it is that it's notorious for an extended scene where The Wife is shagging the betentacled beastie they're looking after. |
| 12 Aug 2013 | Max Max Trilogy In a fancy steelcase replica petrol jerrycan or something! |
| 08 Oct 2013 | American Horror Story: Asylum |
| ?? ??? 2013 | War of the Worlds: Goliath 3D Manga-esque steampunk sequel to WotW (sort of like Scarlet Traces). Release forever being put back… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Evangelion 3.33: You Can [not] Redo |
| ?? ??? ???? | Kill Bill Redux Volumes 1 & 2 re-edited into one movie |
| ?? ??? ???? | Nightbreed: The Cabal Cut Remember Nightbreed? Snatched out of Clive Barker's hands and the last minute and butchered into a crapfest that made no sense, lost the whole plot and now impossible to get hold of? Well, Clive Barker recently found his VHS copies of the original footage that was thought lost. The film has been painstakingly reconstructed and re-edited to reflect the original vision. This "rough cut" is apparently really fucking brilliant, and pisses all over that shambles that was originally hacked to pieces for the original 1990 release. Obvs, as the extra footage is from Clive Barkers personal VHS collection, it's not great picture quality. However, turns out the "lost" footage isn't lost at all - Morgan Creek are still in possession of it! A negotiation has been agreed for them to release the footage for an uncut special Blu-Ray release... as long as they don't have to pay to produce it. WATCH THIS SPACE!! |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 21 Sep 2013 | Liqueur: A Tribute to The Cure Slimelight *Provisional date TBC* |
| 22 Oct 2013 | The Cult Norwich UEA |
| 26 Oct 2013 | Hazel O'Connor Norwich WhatACunt |
| 19 Nov 2013 | Depeché Mode The O2, Londinium If I can get hold of tickets! |
| 11 Dec 2013 | The Damned Norwich UEA |
| 18 Dec 2013 | Fields of the Nephilim/The Mission O2 Academy, Brixton |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Fields of the Nephilim New Album! They were actually in the studio recording New Material on 9th Dec 2012!! |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Assassins Creed IV |
| ?? ??? 2013 | T7G:3 Yay! Kickstarter begins.. Somepoint soon... |
| ?? ??? 2013 | The 11th Hour: iOS Possibly… |
| ?? ??? 2013 | The 13th Doll Yay! Kickstarter begins.. Somepoint soon... |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Necroscope: The Möbius Murders Lumley, Brian |
| ?? Dec 2013 | Discworld: Raising Steam Pratchett, Terry |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Chickens of Atlantis and other Foul and Filthy Fiends Rankin, Robert |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Abominable Showman Rankin, Robert |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Crow Shirley, John. New graphic Mini-series, set in Tokyo |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Sandman Neil Gaiman - Yes, Neil is writing a new Sandman! This will cover the events Morpheus mentioned prior to his capture by Burgess. From Neil himself: "When I finished writing The Sandman, there was one tale still untold. The story of what had happened to Morpheus to allow him to be so easily captured in The Sandman #1, and why he was returned from far away, exhausted beyond imagining, and dressed for war. It was a story that we discussed telling for Sandman's 20th anniversary... but the time got away from us. And now, with Sandman's 25th anniversary year coming up, I'm delighted, and nervous, that that story is finally going to be told," |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| ?? Aug 2013 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #5 Logic, Risk Management, Three |
| ?? Nov 2013 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #6 TBA |
| ?? ?? 2013 | Retromancer Blinder of a script written… just needs funding… |
| ?? Feb 2014 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #7 TBA |
| ?? May 2014 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #8 TBA |
| ?? Aug 2014 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #9 TBA |
| ?? Nov 2014 | Blake's 7: The Liberator Chronicles #10 TBA |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| Spring 2013 | In The Flesh Zombies redefined as "people with a medical condition" and home to their families. |
| Summer 2013 | Stephen King's Under The Dome Showing in the UK on: 5 |
| Autumn 2013 | Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. Renamed, as obviously S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't enough of a title! |
| "Late" 2013 | Sleepy Hollow A series? How? Nay, WHY? |
| "Late" 2013 | The Tomorrow People US Remake |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell Showing in UK on: BBC1 Adaptation of Susanna Clarke's novel |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Black Sails Arr melad! It be a piratanical prequel to Treasure Island! |
| ?? ??? ???? | A.L.F. Yes, they're bringing back ALF from 1980s Melmak… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Amazon Wonder Woman is on hold… latest news is that she may start off a secondary character in Arrow to see if she's popular enough for her own series. |
| ?? ??? ???? | American Gods HBO mini series being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Produced by Tom Hanks. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Amnerican Horror Story: Coven Kathy Bates now cast in Season 3 |
| ?? ??? ???? | Bates Motel Psycho: Norman Bates, The Early Years… oh dear… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Blake's 7 Picked up by SyFy. Now confirmed 13 part series reboot, not a continuation |
| ?? ??? ???? | DaVinci's Demons |
| ?? ??? ???? | Dracula 10 part series featuring Jonathan Rhys Meyers as The Count |
| ?? ??? ???? | Exorcist: The Beginning Spin-off series |
| ?? ??? ???? | Gotham |
| ?? ??? ???? | Grimm (Series 3) New series comissioned |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Hulk Guillermo Del Toro on hold… |
| ?? ??? ???? | The IT Crowd New one-off special being made |
| ?? ??? ???? | Johnny Mnemonic New Series. Probably without Fat Keanu! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Journey To The West 13 part serial being adapted by Neil Gaiman. Probably better known as Monkey! in the UK |
| ?? ??? ???? | Neighbours A family move into a new neighbourhood, where the residents are all aliens… |
| ?? ??? ???? | New Nabors A family's neighbours turn out to be The Muppets! What's not to like!! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Once Upon A Time (Series 3) New series comissioned |
| ?? ??? ???? | Once: Wonderland Spin-off series from Once Upon A Time. Pilot about to be aired. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Space 2099 Yes, they're rebooting Gerry Anderson's Space 1999 in a new century… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Star Wars: Underworld |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Strain Adap of Guillero Del Toro's tale |
| ?? ??? 2015 | Thunderbirds CGI Puppetry… |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| ?? ??? 2012 | [●REC]4: Apocalypse |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Exists Sasquatch hunts humans. From the people who brought you The Blair Witch Project. Oh dear. |
| ?? ??? 2012 | Bill & Ted #3 |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Day of the Triffids Sam "Evil Dead" Raimi producing |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Dominion: Dinosaurs vs Aliens Barry Sonnenfield directing Grant Morrisson's adap of his graphic novel |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Dracula Eli Roth directing Russell Crowe as Drac… |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Frank Loose biopic based on the career of Chris Sievey/Frank Sidebottom.. |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Girl Who Played With Fire David Fincher's remake of the 2nd Millenium Movie |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Human Centipede III: Final Sequence Yes, it's been scripted and the cast signed on to reprise their HC2 roles… |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Last Voyage of The Demeter The bit in Dracula where The Count travels in his coffin from Transylvania to England. Expanded into a movie with Viggo "Aragorn, son of Arathorn" Mortensen |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Pride and Prejudice... and Zombies |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Rentaghost: The Movie Russell Brand has been replaced by Ben Stiller as Fred Mumford |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Short Circuit Remake. Oh Mr Johnny Five, this good news, no? |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Stephen King's The Stand Remake - latest is that it may be split into several films or another mini-series. |
| ?? ??? 2013 | Suspiria Back on again (probably without Natalie Portman now) |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Crimson Peak Guillermo Del Toro scary stuff |
| ?? ??? 2014 | The Night Stalker Johnny Depp as Kolchak in the film adap of the series |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Pinocchio Guillermo del Toro directing |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Woman in Black: Angels of Death Hammer's [unnecessary] sequel to The Woman In Black set 20 years later… |
| ?? ??? 2014 | Zorro Reborn "The Fox" is rebooted! |
| Summer 2015 | Justice League |
| ?? ??? 2015 | Avatar 2 |
| ?? ??? 2015 | Doctor Who David "Harry Potter" Yates taking it on |
| ?? ??? 2015 | Independence Day 2 Like, we soooo need a sequel /sarcasm |
| ?? ??? 2015 | Shaun The Sheep Cracking new movie, Gromit! |
| ?? ??? 2015 | Star Wars: Episode VII JJ Abrams to direct. George Lucas has written the first draft of the screenplays for parts 7, 8 & 9… |
| ?? ??? 2015 | The Terminator Rebooting a new Trilogy. Will Arnie be back? |
| ?? ??? 2016 | Angry Birds 3D YES! An animated movie about the recovery of eggs from thieving porkers by temper infused avians! |
| ?? ??? 2017 | Star Wars: Episode VIII |
| ?? ??? 2019 | Star Wars: Episode IX |
| ?? ??? ???? | 20,000 leagues Under The Sea David Fincher directing. Starts Brad Pitt |
| ?? ??? ???? | Abarat Adap of books 1 & 2 of Clive Barker's series. To be produced once books 3 & 5 published. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Alice In Wonderland 2 Eh, whut? |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Amazing Spider-Man 3 |
| ?? ??? ???? | Assassins Creed Michael Fassbender to star as Altair |
| ?? ??? ???? | Atlantis Rising Comic book adap - may be a miniseries? |
| ?? ??? ???? | Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Remake in development! Possibly late 2012, or sometime in 2013. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Avatar 3 |
| ?? ??? ???? | Avatar 4 Only a possibility of Avatar 4 at moment |
| ?? ??? ???? | Batman Reboot (for a change!). Apparenly, due to the Avengers success, this one is to begin setting up a JLA movie. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Beetlejuice 2 Tim Burton back at the helm, and Michael Keaton now signed on to reprise role as Beetlejuice! Written by Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, etc |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Black Hole Remake of 1979 classic! I used to have a B.O.B. model kit… wonder if it's in me mum's attic... |
| ?? ??? ???? | Blade Runner 2 No prequel, and Harrison Ford WON'T be in it… unless Ridley decides he can have a brief cameo. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Boy Scouts vs Zombies Jesus. It gets worse… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Casting The Runes Joe "Gremlins" Dante's remake of the M.R.James take (previously filmed as the classic Night Of The Demon) . Simon Pegg to star. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Carpe Diem: The Adventures of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom With a title like that, I gotta see it! |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Crow Luke Evans (who?) now cast as Eric Draven |
| ?? ??? ???? | Dungeons & Dragons Reboot. Please let there be no Niles or Ridley… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Enormous André "TrollHunter" Øvredal adapting the comic strip for film, webisodes and TV… hold on… weren't they doing that with The Dark Tower? Looks where that's ended up - dropped into Limbo… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Escape From New York Back on. Again. Jason Statham and Tom Hardy in the frame for Snake. Oh dear… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Evangelion Live action. Embroid in legal wrangles. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Fantastic Four Reboot… Matthew Vaughn producing, Seth Grahame-Smith |
| ?? ??? ???? | Farscape Movie in discussions… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Flight of the Navigator Remake of the '80s classic |
| ?? ??? ???? | Frankenstein Harry Potter himself (Daniel Radcliffe) cast as…. Igor! Imagine that! Igor! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest Remake of the 3rd Millenium Movie |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Graveyard Book Henry Selick adapting another Neil Gaiman book. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Now retitled. Guillermo Del Toro's takes on DC/Vertigo. Deadman, The Spectre, Alec Holland, John Constantine, The Stranger, Zatanna, Zatara, Sargon and Etrigan. (Oooh, A Murder Of Crows from Saga Of The Swamp Thing?) |
| ?? ??? ???? | Hellboy 3 Guillermo Del Toro has started work on it! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Hellraiser In development |
| ?? ??? ???? | Here There Be Monsters 18th Century sea monster stuff |
| ?? ??? ???? | Highlander Reboot up again… |
| ?? ??? ???? | I Am Legend 2 How can he be a legend again? Oh, he wasn't in the first film either… JUST MAKE "I AM LEGEND" PROPERLY! |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Incredible Shrinking Man Although… some are referring to Ant Man by the same name. Same film, or just 2 incredibly shrinking blokes…? |
| ?? ??? ???? | Stephen King's 'IT' Back on again! Cary Fukunaga relaces David Kajganich as writer, and becomes director. Also, it's being split into 2 movies (like the mini-series, then!) |
| ?? ??? ???? | Jitters Giant killer insects… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Legend of Conan As if Rocky Balboa and John J. Rambo's decrepit outings of an ancient weren't enough OAP porn for ya, Arnie returns in Conan: The Old Gimmer or some such! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Little Shop Of Horrors Remake of the Musical version, developed by (and starring) Joseph Gordon-Levitt |
| ?? ??? ???? | Logan's Run Rumour is the remake's back on again… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Man From U.N.C.L.E. Feature movie reboot |
| ?? ??? ???? | Masters Of The Universe Prince Adam of Eternia returns as He-Man! |
| ?? ??? ???? | MIB IV Men In Black sequel green lit |
| ?? ??? ???? | Monsters: Dark Continent Sequel to Monsters. As of the original borefest wasn't enough tedium for anyone, they want to bore us to death again! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Monty Python's… Untitled tale of aliens giving superpowers to a human for laughs. All the remaining Pythons… except, of course, Eric Idle who's refusing at the moment. |
| ?? ??? ???? | The Mummy Part of Universal's 100 year celebrations, another reboot |
| ?? ??? ???? | Myst Right. Latest is that there were… disagreements... on how to proceed. Those set on adapting The Book Of Ti'ana, and who though that wasn't a good introduction to Myst and wanted a new direction. Acrimonious splits ensued. When film the rights came to the end of the option period, a second lease was refused, and the option has been passed to Delve Films. Amongst the bitching, the film is slowly being developed again... but I wouoldn't hold my breath if I were me! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Necroscope FX Artist Glenn Hetrick (one of the judges on SyFy channel's "Face Off") has announced he is working on the project! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Neuromancer Adap of William Gibson novel |
| ?? ??? ???? | Night Of The Living Tim Burton & Seth Grahame-Smith developing |
| ?? ??? ???? | Paranormal Activity 6 |
| ?? ??? ???? | Pirates of the Carribean 5 FFS |
| ?? ??? ???? | Poltergeist Sam Raimi remaking |
| ?? ??? ???? | Prometheus 2 Script now being written… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Shadow of the Colossus Adaptation of the game |
| ?? ??? ???? | Tape 4 Some Lovecratian terror! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Time After Time Remake of the 80s classic - Jack The Ripper escapes to modern times in HG Wells Time Machine, chased by… HG Wells himself! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Timecop Remake, and without Van-Damme who's too busy drinking Coors light in arctic wastes and taking on Ithaqua the wind walker with his Martian Arts. Or something. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Timecrimes US Remake of the Spanish classic |
| ?? ??? ???? | Toxic Avenger Remake… and Arnold Schwartzenegger will be in it (but not as Toxie) |
| ?? ??? ???? | Triplets! Sequel to Twins! Schwarzenegger and DeVito discover their long-lost Brother (Eddie Murphy)… Recently confirmed by DeVito as actually being in development. Oh dear…. |
| ?? ??? ???? | Tron 3 Confirmed by Bruce Boxleitner! |
| ?? ??? ???? | Two Worlds Colliding Michael Hutchence/INXS biopic |
| ?? ??? ???? | Van Helsing Reboot, with Tom Cruise as Van Helsing… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Venom Spidey-Man spin off |
| ?? ??? ???? | Videodrome Remake back on the table… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Wayne's World 3 Mike Myers has written a first draft… |
| ?? ??? ???? | Weird Science Remake. Time to legitimately wear a bra on your head without looking like a pervy tranny… |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| IN LIMBO | Akira Production once again halted… |
| IN LIMBO | At The Mountains Of Madness Guillerro Del Toro's plans are ruined. Ridley Scott's Prometheus is more-or-lese the same concept. |
| IN LIMBO | Chrome Pendragon Pictures sci-fi flick |
| IN LIMBO | Stephen King's The Dark Tower Dropped (again!). Hoping to be picked up by another company… |
| IN LIMBO | Forbidden Planet Remake written & directed by Babylon 5's J. Michael Straczynski |
| IN LIMBO | Ghostbusters 3 Officially dead. Bill Murray has said NO WAY, and unless he's on board, there will be no movie |
| IN LIMBO | Good Omens Gaiman/Pratchett movie adaptation to be directed by Terry Gilliam |
| IN LIMBO | Hawk The Hunter Sequel to Hawk The Slayer, currently awaiting funding. |
| IN LIMBO | Hawk The Destroyer Final in the Hawk trilogy. Presumably waiting for funding, or after Hawk The Hunter |
| IN LIMBO | Hallowe'en Reboot on hold, whilst they concentrate on he Hellraiser remake |
| IN LIMBO | Hallowe'en III 3D Either a remake of the Nigel Kneale Silver Shamrock version, or a sequel to Rob Zombie's crapfest |
| IN LIMBO | Hulk 3 Joss Whedon says there are no current plans for more Hulk except in Avengers 2 |
| ON HOLD | Jurassic Park 4 Only temporarily. Allegedly… |
| IN LIMBO | Neverwhere Gaiman movie adaptation awaiting a director |
| IN LIMBO | Power of the Dark Crystal Sequel to The Dark Crystal Back on hold as of 21 Feb 2012, as OmniLab cut all funding due to the failure of their crap film 'The Killer Elite'. The Henson Group may speak to them later in 2012 about further development, or seek a new partner, or can the whole project. Again. |
| IN LIMBO | Sandman Gaiman TV Series adaptation awaiting a suitable director - Eric Kripke (Supernatural) was promising, but eventually turned down. |
| IN LIMBO | Tripods, The Movie adaptation of the trilogy, re-set in America. |
| IN LIMBO | Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, Teresa Banks And The Last Seven Days Of Laura Palmer Remastered DVD/Blu-Ray with deleted scenes |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
| 21 Jun 2013 | World War Z |
| 18 Jun 2013 | The Ocean At The End Of The Lane |
| 17 Jun 2013 | Mama |
| 16 Jun 2013 | Rammstein |
| 15 Jun 2013 | Blondie |
| 14 Jun 2013 | Man Of Steel |
| 14 Jun 2013 | Animal Crossing 3Ds |
| 07 Jun 2013 | The Last Exorcism II: The Beginning Of The End |
| 07 Jun 2013 | After Earth |
| 05 Jun 2013 | Pout At The Devil |
| 03 Jun 2013 | Dexter (series 7) |
| 03 Jun 2013 | The ABCs Of Death |
| 01 Jun 2013 | The Purge |
| Jump to section: | Film --- Blu-Ray --- Gigs --- Music --- Games --- Books --- Audiodrama --- TV --- Films In Development --- In Limbo --- Last month --- |
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