Some people will nick anything!
There's one of them Ongoing Rows in Diplomatic Relations, because a soldier has nicked Saddam Hussein's buttocks.
Not his real buttocks, I point out. That would be necrophiliously gay.
No, this is the arse of his toppled statue.
So necrophiliously gay with a fetish for arses sculpted in bronze, then!
And the thief is an SAS soldier called Spud. "Spud", eh? Lovespuds = scrotular newton's cradle. He's named after a bollock! Not to mention the SAS - we've all heard about these military initiation bum-boy shennanigans they all get up to! Hands off cocks, empty your bollocks up the sergeants arse! SAS? Shagging Army Sphincters, more like!!
Which makes it a necrophiliously gay soldier-boy named after testes with a fetish for arses sculpted in bronze.
And they say the army is homophobic! Fear of homo's... being found out thieving the derrieres of despots and shaming The SAS.
Anyhoo, this bloke is trying to claim that the tyrant's turdbox is art. Like having a chunk of the Berlin Wall.
I remember the Berlin Wall - didn't that woman marry it after dumping another wall? She was also shagging walls too. I don't know, women who shag walls, men who shag pavements, and now soldiers shagging Saddam's sculpted shithole.
At least The Police have slapped an order on this pervy Private. He has been warned not to sell or deface the buttocks whilst under suspicion of breaching the 2003 Iraqi Sanctions Order.
Too right too. Even if the Iraqis did want Hussein's heiney back, I'm pretty sure they don't want his Baghdad booty all defaced fom some depraved army base bukakke party!
"I say Nadgers, Squiffy has forgotten the biscuit. We have nothing for our circle of frenzied onanism. They boys will have to stay in the Barracks tonight."
"That OK Carruthers, Spud has Saddam's arse in his bunk."
"Top hole!"
"Well, not so much hole, as sculpted crevice."
"Any port in a storm, eh Nadgers."
