I could regail you with tales of Xmas and New Year.
Of the having it large to Darude's Sandstorm in the WhatACunt instead of Wraith/Alt.80s dubstepperies.
Of roasted spuds to die for.
Of immobile Charlie Chaplins scratching their arse with both hands RIGHT down the back of their trews (and thus ruining the illusion).
Of priestly pulpit punch-ups with Palestine Police (as opposed to Plasticine Police, which involved Morph being set up by Chaz. Or polystyrene police with X-ray specs on, ogling the wimmin under their burkhas).
Of The Poisoning of The Xym.
Of crocodiles lilght-fingeringly lifting lawnmowers to fight off sumatran rat-monkey invested zoo gawkers in their watery lair.
Of the Killeroo, duffing up children.
Of many other diverse and interesting entertainments over the past couple of weeks.
But instead, I shall bewail the lack of shaven haven's being sent in by my Pretties out there!
Remember, remember, the 'tache of Movember - back then, I reminded my young nubile pretties about Fannuary. Raise money for charity by going all baldy about yer box. You then post pictures as you grow your minge merkin, and post daily updates of your follicle flange as you tease it into a topiaried twat toupée.
So far, I'm yet to recieve a single flash of the gash. :(
I suspect everyone's forgotten since November about this charity event, so I'm providing a timely reminder.
So, c'mon, my Pretties - get shaving yer snatch and get that fanny photo'd! It's all for charity, so you've no excuse. Over the following days, I expect to be regularly updated with the progress of your labial locks, coiffured quim, pigtailed pussy, combover cunt or even just your elaborately vajazzled vaj.
Hurry up and send me your charity raising nudie pics already!
