For The Stace is one fit bird. Phwoar. Right up my street. And when she smiles, it lights up the room like an olympic torch being shoved into a gem encrusted golden musty tomb by Evie Hammond being played by Rachael Weiss.
I think it's safe to say "yeah, The Xym definately would!"
Anyhew, the "fan" in question is a different sort of fan entirely. A fan for fanning away the fug of scented miasma in a bottle. For everyone's favourite Iceland shopping waterfall showering pop tart¹ has released aromatheraputive perfumeries curiously named "Smile".
Now, I'm no expert, but surely a product called Stacey Solomon's Smile should be accompanied by the Pop Pretty's radiant cakehole moistly opened wide and turned up at the corners (and not turning up at the coroners like my other perfect pop Pretty Ameh).
So what's with the miseryarse expression accompanying the Eau De Toilet?
Look at her - call that a Solomon Smile? She doesn't even look happy in the remotest of remote interpretations of happyness.
Stacey Solomon's Smile? Stacey Solomon's Sulky Arse Stroppy Hissy Fit, more like!
I suppose they were going for Stacey Solomon's Sultry Smile, which I would be most appreciative of. But no. That's someone who is not impressed at all with something over in the top right of the room.
Unless, of course, what The Xym and his incomprehensibility in interpreting social interaction understands as a smile is not actually a smile. Perhaps a smile is that kind of 'meh' expression displayed on that promotional package!
Well, no wonder the Pretties all avoid The Xym - clearly what I thought was a cheeky, charming, friendly and inviting smile is a scowlage of fuck-offery proportions! Perhaps I should emulate the Solomon Smile above, so people know I's a smiley happy peoples...
Oh well..
¹ NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH OTHER WATERFALL SHOWERING POP TART MY CLEAN ARSE. WHICH IT WOULD BE, AFTER ALL THAT TIMOTEI RUNNING DOWN HER BACK AND FLUSHING THROUGH HER CRACK. OR SOMETHING.
