Yea, ye ancientte onnes arise forre ye starres are right!
Although why content yourself with just 4 sacrificial lambs when you want to awaken to tear the Spheres asunder, I don't know.
But from one end of excellence depicting Redneck Zombie Torture Families (not to mention riffing upon many another classic), there is the other end.
An end with more eye opening incredulities of increasing disbelief that culminates in one of the more disturbing mental images to replace innocent teenage hand gestures.
To whit; The Rapey Spider.
You don't know Rapey Spider? Where you place one hand on top of t'other and crawl it about the table like, well, like a rapey spider, basically! Well, I'll never associate it with such innnocence again.
Not after watching Antfarm Dickhole.
Now, I watch a lot of shit. Me & my chums watch some of the most god-awful dreadful so-bad-they're-good films. Antfarm Dickhole is not the worst, but definately one of the most excruciatingly mental films I've seen since Peter Jackson's Bad Taste.
Words cannot begin to say how woefully awful the acting is - not to mention the appalling puns!
It's the tale of ANT-drew and ANT-ony (women are called ANT-oinette, ANT-Marie...) who are 30 somethings who are often bullied in the forest (don't ask). Now, after a somewhat lame punch from a passing bully, Antdrew is knocked unconscious. And as he lies comatose on the forest floor...
...a pack of army ants crawl up his leg, down his dickhole, and take up residence, nesting in his nutsack.
So, once he wakes up, he goes home, where his nudie girlfriend does a dance and gives him a blowie... only for him to jizz ants into her gob, which (during a rather elongated writing on the floor with maximum close up flange shots) end up reducing her to a pile of bones.
Passing out, he thinks it's all a dream... 'till he wakes up and sees the bones. Going for a walk, he's attacked by a bully, and the ants defend their nest. Thinking the bullies have put ants in his pants for a joke, he laughs as the 'joke' backfires, and the bully is et to death. In the park. In front of everyone.
So, he goes home and starts tossing himself off.
As you do.
Suddenly, a giant ant crawls out the top of his cock mid hand-shandy!
And so he takes his revenge. Primarily on the bullies girlfriends. Trapping one in a car, he shags the exhaust pipe to jizz ants into the car to kill the bitch (who somehow becomes totally naked during the attack). When another is in the shower (in her pants) he wanks thru the window and jizzes ants in to kill the showering slattern.
It gets worse.
Exactly why the reporters are all in bikinis, in the forest, with a tendancy to get nekkid quite a lot, I'm not sure. The same goes for the scientists investigating. Although Antdrew has to sunbathe fully clothed (because he's now so confident due to the ants in his pants), a bikini clad bint is sent in to seduce him so she can pour red ants down his nobend to neutralise the threat.
Not to mention running around/sitting/dozing in the public park with his cock hanging out. Nor the bit where the ants return to their nest with a banana, and it gets stuck halfway down his cock. And the Parkie only gives him a telling off for running about the park with his cock flapping about with a banana sticking out of it!
Exactly how the ants leave Antdrew and end up in his mates missus's minge is a bit vague, but Antony ends up a pile of bones after mingemunching his missus [Ant-onella]?
And then, for no reason at all, a woman heading for the shower is webbed up by a giant spider.
That rapes her.
Yes. You read that correctly. A giant spider spurts an improbably strong legs-held-wide-open quimshot web to tie her down, before mounting her missionary style and shagging her. And snogging her with it's mandibles.
The epilogue suggest she gives birth, for in the epilogue, a bullied teen spurts sticky stuff over a bully. Revenge of The Manspider.
Honestly, you ain't seen nothing till you've watched, open-mouthed in disbelief, a huge spider fucking a woman.
The mind veritably boggles!
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