Oh, to have grown up in the '70s!
I'm currently watching Columbo, as you gotta watch Columbo.
Now, The Murderer has done the deed, and fled in panic to a nightclub to confide in his mate.
As all mates did in the 1970's, he told The Murderer not to worry - he'd help cover it up. He'll go straight to the victims house, hide the evidence, murderer calls he house from the club and the friend will pretend to be the victim. Talk loud on the phone so everyone knows you're talking to "her" and thus secure an alibi.
So far, so good.
Now, the friend drives straight over and gets out of the car and puts on the now legendary Giallo Gloves. AsI sat there, I began to lament the lack of Criminals in Modern Drama who forego the use of Argento famed black leather glovesies. All these crims caught out by Fingerprints, Palmprints and Partials, and all for the want of classic accoutréments to be shown in close up fingering a range of slaughterous tools.
But... oh woe and misery! The gate is barred! How can this man help create an alibi if he can't get in?
He reaches into his suit pocket (as all '70s clubs were Gentlemen's Clubs where you worn a smart suit as you tossed back a stiff one to calm the nerves... or was that the hookers sat at the bar?)
Anyhoo, what does he withdraw from his inner pocket? Did The Murderer slip him the key? No - the unspoilt line of his dapper suit only held a screwdriver!
Yes - someone actually went to a club, and happened to have a handy screwdriver about their person! And not only that, a screwdriver you can reach through a gate, tap the back of a lock, and magically release the gate!
And there was us laughing at the improbability of being expected to have a screwdriver upon us to get into the back room of The Marquee t'other week.
So, next outing, my party paraphernalia needs to consist of not only a screwdriver to open music rooms, but also the Shiny Gloves Of Fetishistic Accoutrément caressment on the off-chance I'm asked to cover up a murder after a few £12 pints and vanilla vodka & cokes.
Anything else I need to acquire? Asylum should be 1st June, so plenty of time to add to my breaking & entering to either get into clubs or mates houses to preserve their reputation attire...
