Well, that advert is back. With a minor change.
More or less the same - BF still looks gormlessly clueless. The Girl still perving over her boyfriend's Dad as Mum looks on, all pissed off and shit, as Dad laps it up.
Laps up the seductress's song of ego-boosting offer of sex, that is. Not her flange. That would really piss the mother off!
Anyhoo, the only difference is at the end, because she now says "Now in vanilla!"
Now, I've still not got past the first half of 50 Shades Of Sadomasochism Bondage, but I recall the use of the term vanilla.
Vanilla means no frills. Boring. No spice. Plain old vanilla. Christian Grey doesn't do vanilla. Ana Steel ends up doing all the Kinky stuffs instead!
So, going back to our picnicing wood nymph(omaniac), clearly Dad turned her down. No fan he of the Fungeon Room with the whips and ropes, ball gag and strap on. Oh no. Daughter-in-law Dominatrix? No thanks! Besides, The Wife now knows of her son's girlfriends lust for her husband. No - he's not gonna go there and ruin his marriage.
But with her minge flowing like the Cuntanga Canyon Rapids at Alton Towers, she's getting desperate!
"Ok, ok, let's try again:
♪ You think your cock's impressive but it's not
Your Dad is nice, he wets my... slot
He'd paddle my arse and spank my buttocks
I'd sit on his face and queef
Cat o' nine tails
Handcuffs and latex
I'd gnaw his cock off with. my. teeth. ♪
And if being bound and gagged and whipped and chained ain't your thing... I also cum with plain old vanilla sex. Just let me ride your cock you Argyle sweatered corduroy panted sex beast."I know sex sells, but these adverts today - it's just pure filth! Just wait for the third ad, after Dad caves in and persuades The Wife to lezz up. It'll be nothing but Dad pounding the wanton trollop doggie style as she frigs off The Wife using a Crispello up her fanny in the middle of a wooded glade.
Disgusting. And to think we have to sit though this filth on terrestrial television whilst her ex-boyfriend has to bum himself with one of them Toffee Dummies you get off the fairground.Toffee Dummies my arse!
Have you seen them at the fair - like Toffee Apples, but without the apple:
That's not a dummy - that's a frigging dildo, that is! Or a buttplug.
Still, not something I'd choose for a marital accoutrément. May be nice and syrupy sweet with an aftertaste of halibut, but you'd have swarms of wasps trying to nest in yer bush. And you don't want a snatchswarm of stinging insects streaming out of your minge...
...oooh! New idea for SyFy! Sod Sharknado, Piranhaconda and Sharktopus. This'll be better than Antfarm Dickhole! Xym's Cinema Spectalular presents...
TwatSwarm!
Whilst pleasuring herself with a toffee dummy, a Queen Bee crept up Bea's minge. There, it built a hive in her womb. One day she was assaulted, and the Hive sent out a swarm from her snatch, killing her potential rapist. Now, she stalks the streets as a vigilante. Opening her legs and releasing a buzzing cloud of death to rid the streets of crime. All new Split-screen split-crotch action!TwatSwarm - her twat's warm, and it houses a swarm!
