It would seems that the choral miners are away from their sheeps in droves, and complaining in the valleys!
"Why's that, boyo?" I hear you ask.
Well, it would seem that the village of Varteg is changing it's name. It is now to be called Y Farteg.
Once proud to be named after Vartag Gavorn out of Dragon Age, they're all spitting out their toasted rarebit because much mirth and mockery will come unto Torfaen. For Y Farteg is Welsh for "Who Farted?". probably.
Me - I'd've named it Pant-Y-Gyrdl and forced the residents into lycra legging style "compression shorts" and give them leek eaters some camels instead of sheeps.
No sense of humour or imagination, the Welsh1.
And from Wales to Norway, and everyone's favourite gravelly voiced sex kitten of the tellybox (apart from them others).
It seems that Channel 4 are losing the ratings war, and have come up with a new idea for a programme.
Seems that in order to get some interest, they're having a "real sex" season looking at the impacts of pornyness on teenagers.
So they've managed to lure The Frostrup into opening up her sex box to couples and engage in "adult conversation". Adult converse? Talking reet dirteh like a filthy potty-mouthed bitch on heat, more like!
In addition to the linguistical lustful langague, she's also having "Frank conversations". Whether this is an sexy seance orgy with Derek Acorah summoning up a Sidebottom succubus, or just plain necrophilia, I don't know.
Apparently, she's got to nosh off three couples from different decades - and one of them couples is gay, so she has to lez up. hopefully.
I'm going to have to start watching them Channel 4 websites for the audition pages. Hopefully they'll follow this one up with one for singles, instead of couples, and hosted by Clawed Ear Wankleman, or Carol Phoarderman.
Preferably both...
Oh, you can throw in an Emily Maitliss, Kirsty Walk, Susanna Reid, Fiona Bruce, Miranda Greene, or serveral other presenting Pretties... heck, if they can persuade HBC to take an acting break for her presenting debut... I've seen Fight Club - I'll have me some of that on the tellybox!!
There's lovely...
1 HOLD ON A MOMENT XYM, AREN'T YOU OF WELSH DESCENT? AREN'T YOUR ANCESTORS FROM RHYL, AND NAMED YOU AFTER OWAIN "WELL, THERE'S A HORRIBLE FARTY SMELL IN HERE, AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT FROM MY BOTTOM" GLYNDŴR, LEADER OF THE FAILED REVOLT AGAINST THE ENGLISH? YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR AND QUITE IMAGINATIVE... ALLEGEDLY...
WELL, I FREQUENTLY HOLIDAY'D IN RHYL WHEN I WAS LITTLE, AND THERE'S PROBABLY SOME MAGNETIC LADYBIRDS I LEFT ON THE TOP OF A WARDROBE IN THE B&B ON QUEENS STREET. I WONDER IF THEY STILL HAVE THAT SCARY GREAT BIG HUGE FECK OFF KING KONG LEERING OUT OVER THE PROMADE...
MOUNT SNOWDON? PRESTATYN? BRECON BEACONS? CAERNARFON CASTLE? BEAUMARIS CASTLE (where me Dad clobbered me for no good reason)? SOD ALL THAT - KING KONG WITH THE ANIMATRONIC HEAD AND RED LIGHTY-UP EYES LOOMING OUT OF THE SCARY HOUSE WAS THE BEST THING ABOUT WALES!
