So, I was off in London (to buy Heat Magazine) on Saturday - and what a night it was!
Liqueur as ever were excellent. Only downside was one of my pet hates...
...twatbags who refuse to remove their backpacks!
All through the gig, some inconsiderate lardarse was just swirling left and right with a backpack on! Suffice to say the gormstress was unaware of centrifugal forces, and with every swing it's humpty back was clobbering peoples left and right.
Grrrrrr!
But after the gig, it was back to trad goff on the dance floor!
And poor old Fatboy Xym was hemmed into the corner by a pair of Pretties (phwoar!).. .and three humongously huge lardy blokes. One of whom is what people tend to regard as "a proper fucking cunty bastard".
But, after 4½ hours of literal non-stop flouncy dancing for myself and in absentia Sisters and Pretties, ye olde Xym had to go for a bit of a rest. With a break in the burly boppers, Xym dived though the gap to the "cinema" for a cooling down...
...just as The Fifth Element came on! What a way to end the evening - Booze, Liqueur, more boze, Tradgoff dance, more boze fer t'baby, and Milla Jovovich to round it off!
And then make my lonesome way off to the tube to come home, all widey wake after nay sleeps. I know - get on the first carriage of the train! Everyone goes to the furthest carriages so they're at the front of the station when they arrive. I can have a sleep in an empty carriage!
Oh noes! Here comes da Norwich Possé! Yikes - they've seens me, and taken the two adjoining tables. Rats cocks - now I have to stay awake lest I fall asleeps and I end up snoring and disturbing all their beauty sleeps!
Think I kept awake - not sure if I dozed off for 10 mins during The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies Of The Apoocalyse, but nayone was scowling at me for keeping them from their Morphean slumbers, so I think I gots away with it!
Anyhoo - gets back into Norwich, and it seems that my Sister has embarassed herself in my absence down The Whatacunt. Oh dear - have to keep a special eye on her next time we're out, and put a stop to any unwarrented public denuding. Still, no-one's going to remember her embarassing incident, for their main concern would have been "Where's her brother? Where's stylish Xym? Why isn't he here?".
For sorrow and disappointment of the lack of Xymonial presence takes precedence over any shaming that may have occurred.
So, I'm home and quick catch up. F1... Vettel's on pole. No point watching then. Vettel will sail to Victory as Webber's car has some 'issue' that puts him waaaay down the pack around 8th place. Hamilton will remain in 5th as Nico comes in 2 places above or behind. Alonso will either come 6th, 4th or 2nd, with Kimi either right behind or just in front. Massa will be as lacklastre as he has been ever since his accident...
Nah - sod it. I'll just have some sleeps interspersed with a bit of telly and tea, and that Thrift Shop going through me head, and wondering why no-ones' done a Skyrim version...
♪ I'm gonna pop some Draughr
Only got 20 gold in my coin purse
I - I'm a-hunting, lookin' for Alduin
I am fucking awesome
I won't wear Falmer's clothes
I look incredible
I wear this dragon scale
Forged in Whiterun by my home
Took an arrow to the knee
I know you all hate me
I work for Belathor
In the gen-er-al goods store ♪
and.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... Yikes! Almost oversleepies afore work!
Oh wow - mine follicle arrangement is still all crimptasticly vertical, with naught but a bit o'spray to keep in place! Showery showery - mind the perfect hair! But The Xym aches. Oh, how he aches. Get to Starbucks and get some coffee down me neck!
Piss on a Pope! Good job I can use me phone, coz me wallet ain't in me pocket! Shitnuts! Hope it's on the stairs. Or sofa. Or somewhere. and I hasn't lost it betwixt house/carpark/Starbucks and work. And I needed to draw out some money today to cover the car service tomorrow :(
And I gets to work... oh jizzflaps. Shiny lights in lift reflecting off... yeah - should have dunked me barnet, for one had forgotten it was filled with copious quantities of glitter!
Who'd be me, eh
Not me, that's for sure!
:(
