Holy Ranidae Batman!
Them there American Greybeards have taken a step too far now!
They're sending up the LADEE spaceship to examine the moon structures built by the space monsters, I mean... "measure lunar dust, honest guv'nor" when...
DISASTER!
Ermagherd! What's that off to the left in that big plume of smoke...
Oh noes! One of the pilots has fallen out of the shuttle, and is vainly spreading his arms to create some uplift to slow his inevitable descent unto his doom, for they don't have parachutes in space as it's too floaty.
But fear not - NASA have confirmed that the falling man is not a falling man at all.
It's a froggie.
Admittedly, a human sized, human shaped froggie, but a froggie looking like a frog-man due to forced perspective. or something.
Do these Greybeards never learn? They send monkeys to the moon, and they either enter a time rift and end up as our evil simian overlords, or they grow to King Kongian size and go on the rampage. How irresponsible to rely on amphibious reptilians to pilot planes to planets.
I guess they must've been watching Jurassic Pork, which tells us if you bung some frog DNA into blokes, their cock drops off and they turn into women who get raped by the blokes who still have cocks and end up spawning. Who needs couples to journey to Mars and populate the planet, when you can send up some self replicating rana rugosa!
However, I'm staying well clear of Wallops, where the launch was held. Even the name - Wallops, smacks of impending destruction. CRASH! BANG! BOOM! WALLOP!!!
Born in the radioactive fire of the ignition launch, Frogzilla will arise!
That's all we need - giant mutant frogs flicking their 100ft tongues at our womens and generally being a noisy nuisance. A giant Kribbett, and a sonic boom blasts across the Virginia plains, blowing the holzer mane of a post-Timotei lorelei about as she sexily showers in streams under a waterfall... before a giant tadpole leaps up and eats her face off.
UNLESS... we get the other effect...
Born in the radioactive fire of the ignition launch, endowed with amazing powers arises... SUPERFROG!
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No - it's a fucking frog in red knickers and a cape...
...wait a cotton picking minute... if I remember my Sesame Street correctly, wasn't a certain green amphibian a roving reporter?
FROGZILLA!!!
