Sunday 1 July 2018

The chance of anything coming from that there Mars...

...are 100% actually!

See, that Robbing Hood has created a new audio version, which is quite brilliant.

And that reminded me of a major failing of John Wayne's Musical Version Of HG Wells' That War Of Them Worlds.

Namely, That Eve Of That War, and the specific lyric appertaining to this particular blogular title.

So, ole Dick Burton quoth the following piece of narration:
At midnight, on the 12th of August, a huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars and sped towards Earth. Across two hundred million miles of void, invisibly hurtling towards us, came the first of the missiles that were to bring so much calamity to Earth. As I watched, there was another jet of gas. It was another missile, starting on its way. And that's how it was for the next ten nights: A flare, spurting out from Mars. Bright green, drawing a green mist behind it. A beautiful, but somehow... disturbing sight. Ogilvy, the astronomer, assured me we were in no danger. He was convinced there could be no living thing on that remote, forbidding, planet...


Now, after establishing the fact that something has erupted from Mars is speeding towards Earth, that chap who's just in a haystack musically warbles:
The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one, he said (aaaaah, aaaaaah), The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one... but still... they come!"


Now, first of all, this is NOT what he said at all! Burto clearly states that Ogilvy says something along the lines of:
"We're in no danger. There's nowt living on Mars. You twat."

Secondly, they've clearly established something is coming from Mars. They've seen a plume of luminescent gas speeding towards Earth! At this point, they don't know it's a missile, cylinder, meteor, or what, but it is something. So, the chances of "anything" coming from Mars, is not "a million to one", because it's right fucking there! They're looking at the bloody thing!

Now, in the book, the actual quote  is:
"The chances against anything manlike on Mars are a million to one,” he said.

Which is perfectly correct, as them Martians are all Cthonic hentai squiddery ballsacks. So clearly, the lyric should be "The chances of anything manlike on Mars, are a million to one, he said". Which not only fits the tune, but is also factually correct.

As it's the 40th Anniversary of the albumen on Monday, I wonder if Young Master Wayne will fix this gaping error, and release a(nother) modified version of Bruce Wayne's Musical Version Of HG Wells' That War Of Them Worlds: The Nude Generation With Correct Lyrics And Bonus Hentai Tentacular Rapey Bits. 

Well, it's more likely than Jeff Wayne's Animated CGI Movie Of Jeff Wayne's Musical Version Of HG Wells' That War Of Them Worlds ever being finished off!