Pease Pudding Hot
Pease Pudding Cold
Pees on pudding in the pot
by a 9 year old
Now, Legend has it that there are many ways to ward off evil entities. There's the old Horseshoe above the Door, The Warding off of the Evil Eye, Sealing your 'Sills with Veruccas...
Which is all very well, but it's no help when Goblins are lacing your lunch with mushy peas and unconvincing passing it off as icing, or green sandwich filler, etc., for it seems that if tempted by fairy food that could turn you into green goo for the munchings of trolls upon, then there's only one preventative...
Piss on the picnic!
Of course, there are those who will pooh-pooh the idea, but if they're pooing on the chocolate chicken pot pie then they're just as bad, if not worse! Passing diarrhoea off as a side dish of Bisto is not my cup of tea.
Then again, a tankard of tinkle isn't either. A chocolate log maybe fun for yule, but yule regret it upon the morrow.
As a safeguard against consumption by kobolds though, it ain't much cop - I ain't gonna whip my wanger out and whizz on the spag bol, just so The Dinner Party escapes liquification. True, there may be those who like ammonia scented soup, but I isn't one of 'em!
Do you wanna go to a club where people wee on each other...
...with Grandpa Seth watching you through a 2way mirror...
