Todays nasal assault around Broadland signalled the presence, once again, of Dogturd Poo in the Turdis. However, this time, his arrival heralded the Minions of Evil.
Now, occasionally the office bogs are closed as some Missus Mop runs a duster over the dumpstation, but today our floors fecal repository was closed, and being serviced by Rentokill!
I though Rentokill was some pest control agency, so clearly one of The Dogturds arachnid arch-enemies is dwelling within the porcelain throneroom. Perhaps a collection of 'cock'roaches - evil Ken Barlow clones taking over the toilets by todger terrorism.
Or maybe Mr Grey is delivering a deposit of Shit Weasles to bite yer ass, before placing a crap circle in the middle of your cranian forrestry as you try and do a Derren Brown memory dump.
Sack Rentokill, I say. Get Rentaghost in there - It's May Day after all! We should have Mr Claypole Jestering about, and young ladies dancing around Maypoles...
...sounds like an excuse for all these Pagan types to get off down Devils Advocate..
..or to go down Devils Advocate and get off...
Although pagans don't exactly have Devils, it's more like The Green Man's Advocate, which sounds more like a pub. Actually, saying that, it's more likely to be Pan's Advocate, which means loads of pagan panpipery combined with Pan's People gyrating in some mass MayPole dance.
Although Pans People are probably getting on a bit from their TOTP days, so they probably can't be arsed shaving their legs no more, so from a distance they'll look like shaggy goat legged fauns, gambolling about to The Pussyflap Trolls, as they Draw Down Diana The Moon in their bare scuddies in a small grove on Mousehole Heath.
