Now, I recently pointed out my annoyance with supernatural entities creeping up behind people and making as much noise as possible before they attack, but how come monster's don't even creep up?
Take a dragon, you're fleeing for your life, and hoping not to get et, when you run into a dead end - be it the side of a car, a wall, or the middle of a field. Invariably, The Hero grabs The Heroin and turns her face away as he embraces her... then the great big beastie stands there and roars away!
After a momentary distraction of a tank firing a shell at it, it turns it's head and The Lovers flee to safety!
Why the buggery sod don't dinosaurs and irradiated reptiles just gobble up people instead of wasting time roaring at 'em and letting 'em get away!
It beggars belief!
And how come, right, if you're not The Hero but Stereotypical Character In The Film Purely To be Killed Off By Monsterific Chompage, you don't take evasive action, but run down the middle of the street, before falling implausibly and waving your arms in an innefectual warding off of munchment?
"Yikes, I've tripped over an invisible blade of grass! Damn, here's come a giant razor toothed beastie's cakehole to gobble me up! Perhaps if I wave my arms at it, I'll miraculously fend off the force of it's fangs!"
And how come if someone tells you you're some reincarnation of some japanese bird who has to die to save the world do you just accept it and not think they're talking bollocks?
"Wotcha mean, that's a Dragon? And it, and it's minions, are after me because I'm an all powerful goddess reborn as a dozy cow who has to sacrifice herself to save the world?
Oh, all right then."
Gormstress!
