Yay - the Fisting Crew were off to Slimelight, and what a night!
Downside - downstairs closed for a private partay, and so we were taunted on the stairs by the smell of unobtainable smokey noms :(
On the plus side - Trad Goth floor! Walked in, and the first song I hear is A Room With No View off the new March Violets album! Can this night get any better?
Oh my yes!
Bauhaus! Siouxsie! Sisters! Mission! Virgin Prunes! You name it - they played it...
...apart from the Neph (boo!).
Anyhew, not much in the way of Pretties this time - but many a wierdy. From the Jerry Sadowitz looky-likey, to Creepy Richard O'Brien In Matrix Shades Staring A Peoples And Creeping Them Out.
Not to mention Grandpa Joe, out dancing to celebrate his Golden Ticket win.
Although this time, he was not in a flimsy nightdress & slippers, prancing about. Instead, a top hat atop his white haired moustachio'd old face, as he repeated lifted his shirt exposing his breasticles for all the world to see.
And following us about, making the Mardy Otter somewhat paranoid!
And what them topless tosspieces were doing on the floor, I'll never know!
But then... we had to face The Bank Holiday Service Interruptions.
So, our train is at 8:14, with one change at Stratford. So, get the Tube for 7:10 in case it opens early. 7:25, we in. 7:30 on platform. Be at Liverpool Street by 10 to 8 - plenty of time!
Time passes...
7:50 - announcement - No Southbound Trains will be running on The Northern Line this morning.
FOOOK!
Dive over Northbound, leap on Kings Cross, race over to the Metropolitan Line, dive on the tube to Aldgate...
...which terminates at Moorgate... one stop before Liverpool Street!
Panic! Time's getting on. Race over to the Circle Line and dive on the tube.
Reach Liverpool Street at 8:09 - just enough time to... wait! There's no 8:14 on the boards!
Excuse me, Customer Services Man, the 8:14 to Norwich, changing at Stratford, which platform?
Cancelled! You'll need to get the Tube to Stratford and catch the 8:36 to Norwich!
FOOOK!
Race back into the Tube, and get the Central line to Stratford.
Panicy panicy... might just make it...
8:29 - 6 mins to get the train! Race up to the boards... which platform...
8:36 to Norwich: Cancelled.
FOOOK!
Excuse me, Customer Services Man - the 8:36 to Norwich, what's happening?
Not sure mate - all trains are cancelled. Go over to platform x and they can tell you more.
Race over to platform X.
Excuse me, Customer Services Pretty, the cancelled train to Norwich replaced by a train to Shenfield?
You'll need to get the train on Platform y. There'll be holding a train at Shenfield for you.
So, race back the way we came to get on the platform we just passed and dive on train.
Knackered! Shenfield can't be that far - let's stand.
17 stops later via the most longest, convoluted route, we arrive at Shenfield.
Excuse me, Customer Services Man - where's the Norwich Train
Sent it off 10 minutes ago. And there's no more trains to Norwich, as that was a one-off as engineering works have now finished.
Well what the feck are we supposed to do now?
You'll have to get the train to Clacton-On-Sea and change at Colchester.
Which leaves in 50 minutes.
FOOOK!
Right - drinks! An entire night clubbing in smokey venues, combined with much dashing about, hath left us somewhat dehydrated.
Ah. Sunday. A Bank Holiday Sunday. So the lone kiosk/shop is shut. And the vending machine will not accept any coins. And the Station Manager has run off and is hiding by the station entrance, rather than face the wrath of about 60 people dumped in Shenfield.
But, eventually, the train gets going... ...and people need a wee.
And, naturally, there's only one toilet on board.
And it's out of order.
So, we finally get to Colchester. Race over to the boards - yay! A Norwich train... in another 50 minutes.
FOOOK with added GRRRRRRR!
But the shop is open, and there are toilets! So time for drinks, pringles and muffins followed by a slash. Relief.
Time passes... 30 mins to go! 25! 20! And...
Apologies - the train has been delayed by 14 minutes!
Fuck off. Fuck. Right. Off. And then Fuck Off some more.
And then it finally arrives, and over the tannoy:
"This is the 11:02 service to Norwich. We're running about 15 minutes late due to an unscheduled stop at Shenfield..."
SCREAM!!!!!! We could've waited at Shenfield after all - and all sat together round a table.
Fucksehnamen!
We finally get into Norwich about 12:40 instead of 10:31.
"We apologize for arriving about 35 mins late"
35 mins? Over 2 hours you mathematically challenged shitbox!
Not happy.
Not happy at all.
