Riddle me this
Riddle me that
Don't pay attention
To that fucking twat!
I was reading Stephen King's The Dark Tower: The Waste Lands on Friday, and it had an alleged riddle in it.
"Out of the eater came forth meat,
and out of the strong came forth sweet"
Now, this was a riddle posed by Samson to Tom Jones so if he solved it, he could marry Delilah instead of having to sing about her in front of knicker flinging women whilst thrusting his groin about.
Anyhoo, even Xym with his vast intellect couldn't solve it the riddle, but at least the answer was given.
Lions and honey!
What the absolute fuck? How the hell do you get Lions and Honey from that? Well, at least the riddle is explained...
Samson was wandering about, tossing his strengthing barnet about like a poser in a posing patch, when he came across the skeleton of a dead lion, and some bees had made a hive in the skull.
Sorry Samson - that's not a riddle. That's just something obscurely random you alone have seen, and expect people to identify this unique vision form a cryptic couplet of nonsensical tosh. How the hell was anyone going to fathom out the answer was a beehive in dead lions skull.
And as if by magic, another conundrum appeared, albeit of a photographically nature:
Clearly a statue of some sort? Somewhat eroded... Seems to a cowled head... Possible an animal head... A deformed nun? A sheep peeping out of a nun's habit? What the heck, it's a horsey face - mayhap a Tesco Burger front the future, re-morphing itself into equine form a-la the T-1000 from Terminator 2: Fudgement Day?
But the owner of the misshapen carving denied all answers, until he informed us just what it was.
Aunt Bessie's Yorkshire Pudendum batter, overspilling and forming battered stalaglüft trees on the bottom of the oven!
Naturally, that was the first thing that sprang to mind.
I'm going to have to right a book of riddles, as it seems you can write any old bollocks only you know about.
Round I'm found o'er eternal flame
and stem babe population stain.
Which would obviously be my emergency bus fare & nail varnish on t'fireplace.
Samson. What a hairy bellend.
Although I wouldn't say that to his face. Unless he was all baldy. Then I'd kick him in the nuts too.
