Ladies, if you find yourself enamoured of The Scotch and want what the sporran suppresses beneath his kilt concealment, then you need to lure your prey with Glaswegian catnip.
Said catnip being pressing your prey's facial element within the valley of your unclean bed based head rests (to whit; dirty pillows), and encourage the highlander to turn his head from side to side at great speed.
In other words, motorboat your McVictim into a catatonic kitty-purring state of mindless bliss, allowing you to take advantage of your haggis fuelled sex slave's bagpipe.
Catnip indeed!
Catnip indeed!
Of course, this does help if you're a big bird with mahoosive babies lunchboxes that cannot be measured in weight due to impracticality of scale based assessment of assets.
A big bird with a man's face.
A rubbery face at that - not unlike facially challenged puttyface Phil Cool.
With extremely tiny feet (albeit sexy due to tinyness)
Who also snacks on the scrotal contents of diminutive dwellers of Endor. ie, she who feasts on Ewok's balls.
I thought I hadn't seen Warwick Davies for a while! Wicket's love spuds gnawed off by man faced big birds with the dwarven feet of sexyness rendering him unavailable for Ricky "as funny as James Corden" Gervais.
Now THAT's something you don't read everyday (but now you can. Right here. Right now)!
