75p! Apparently, that's a rip off, coz you can can get about 6 Freddo bars for that!
But I reckon the price was just a show. The real reason is that his choccie bar was...
...a Crispello!
And we all know what that means - his other half is shagging his dad!
I've seen the advert. Family wanking in the woods, when girlfriend ruffles boyfriend's hair, and he's like all "gerroffmehair. Bitchfucker". To which, she turns, in front of his parents, and sings:
♪ You think your cock's impressive but it's not
Your Dad is nice, he wets my... slot
I wish he'd poke my lubed up buttocks
I love the way he parts my beef (curtains)
The ole pork sword
Virile and sweaty
I ride him when he's un-der-neath ♪
Or something.
Anyhoo, once the senior serenading seductress has finishered her ballad, all aflame with lustful desire due to cocoa consumption, Dad simply grins and says "Lovely!"
Mom is a seething jealous hag, glowering at the youthful succubus and giving Dad evils. Soon to be ex-BF just stares, open mouthed in shock.
But Dad - Dad has a well big smirk on his face. Lovely - I bagged me a Lolita! No more the withered dugs of the ancient leathery wife and her dried up old flange - it's wanton teenage trollops all the way! Frothing at the gash with their pert breasts... and all for the hormonal arousing price of a 75p bar of chocolate!
Who needs Bacardi Breezer Pant Remover, when you can ply your son's nymphomaniac girlfriend with a Crispello.
Crispello? Crispy gusset of fanny battered knickers, more like, eh Dad!
I'd be well miffed if I finally got a Pretty of my very own, bought her a Crispello, only to find her copping off with my Dad. Mainly coz me Dad's dead, so he'd be a bit wormy. Not even that, being cremated, so the nearest she could get to giving him a blowie would be smoking his ashes in a roll-up.
That reminds me - must remember to take Crispello's down The WhatACunt to lure in the Ladies... although me & my Wife/Sister may need to adopt a son so I can nick his bird with my confectionary trap!
Mwah ha ha ha ha!
* Twirls twiddly moustache, swirls cape with stylish élan, and heads off to engage in damsel based melodramatic villainy *
