Now, I'm all for punishing the promiscuous thieving chavscum on the Utterly Vyle show, but surely anal infiltration is somewhat harsh!
Clearly, dealing with today's Crackhead got Jeremiah all excited. "Crack" and "Head" signalling to Mister Vyle the promise of helmet into labourer's cleft bumfunnery. Live on air!
Poor dear little white haired kindly old grandmother and loveable wrinkly eyed grey haired ancient grandfather were somewhat upset at their cheeky scamp of a grandyobbo, and needed to do those all important lie detector results to see if he was on the rob of their pensions. And Jez, being the affable host that he is, promised the wayward youth that if the results proved him to be a liar, he was in for a "heavy roasting".
There was me thinking that The Vylester and his Therapist Graham were there to help people, not indulge in "Burning The Candle At Both Ends" like some footballers hotel hooker scandal. Then again, Graham is a Therapist, which (if you add a space after the 3rd letter) is basically a thinly disguised way of saying he's "The rapist". rear entry forced entry and cock blocking of the oesophegus.
OK, furrymuff if the detrius of social scorn is some Chavette Hottie (say, Jaqui McQueen off Hollyoaks), but threatening some multi-ASBO award winner with penile intrusion where only space monsters tend to probe whilst choking on Graham's love is just one step too far.
Unfortunately for the Docherty Wannnabe, his results showed somewhat less that truthful fibbery to be the order of the day, so backstage bummery rapeage is all the rage!
But not against any machines, unless Jezza & Graham are automatons... sexual cyborgs well versed in the art of London Bridging vulnerable street urchins who fail the ever-accurate Polly Graff (Sister of Steffie, and who better to judge untruths than sapphic sisters of vagitarian tennis players?)
Expect to see "I was tag-teamed by Jeremy and Graham - now I don't know who the father is*!" coming up in a few months.
* AND BEING SEXUAL CYBORGS, THEY CAN IMPLANT THEIR TERMINATORY OFFSPRING INTO MALES, LIKE THEY DID IN TERMINATOR 2.1 (AKA "JUNIOR"), WHERE THE CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS MODEL 101 WAS IMPREGNATED.
"I'LL BE BACK... IN NINE MONTHS!"
