Well.
I thought I'd pop into MySpace, copy some of the old blog over.
Bad move.
Blogs - gorn. Kaput. Fucked off. Deleted. MySpace itself - twatted over and a jumble of arse.
Not only does the home page not fit on a screen, it scrolls sideways instead of up/down... so you can't see the stuff that flows off page below.
And it's all boxes. Boxes of crap. With some "mixing desk" to play "new music from "featured artists".
What happened to MySpace? Gone is the social network, and in with the... well, modern rappitty, poppity, blippetty-boppetty bollocks that passes for "music". Lots of adverts, and encouragement to "connect" with these aforementioned Featured Artists.
It's a fecking ponced up record store flogging pap to brats pretending to be MySpace!
Ooooh, if my Lady C wasn't so enamoured of The Trousersnake, I'd go over there and give Justin a right good punch in the tits, a boot in the knackersack, and a duffing up to end all duffings up.
What was he thinking?
Oh, pop music and impressionable underage/teen x-factor brainwashed "music" fans.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Stars in The Social Network (about Facebook), buys up MySpace, and fucks it right up the arse.
What.
A.
Cock!
(As in, what a nob. As in what a prick. As in what an arse. As in what a gobshite. NOT Oh my, WHAT an impressive body part!)
GIVE ME BACK MY LOST BLOGS, YOU CUNTWEASEL!
Grrrrrrrrr.
Well, it's been a while since I last checked what people are searching for, and unfortunately end up at me blog instead.
So, here's the Top Items what people have been surfing the net for, that led 'em to me blog...
Top 10 via Blogger
● bloggerobscura.blogspot.com
● m88888888888mmmmmmm
● "adam ant" "cool zombie"
● "war of the worlds: goliath"
● bloggerobscura.blogspot.co.uk+mousemat
● bloggerobscura.blogspot.co.uk+xyms
● cary fukunaga
● kate+humble+breasts
● knickerlicker
● march violets made glorious
Top 15 Via Google
● stacey solomon bum
● stacey solomon hot
● stacey solomon when she was fat
● mans cock
● stacey solomon fat
● stacey solomon naked
● stacey solomon ass
● happy smiley people
● mardy bum
● stacey solomon topless
● stacey solomon legs
● stacey solomon arse
● vidz
● man's cock
● kate humble breasts
Not as diverse as before, but still laden with saucy searches - seems September is Stacey Solomon sex search month! Exactly why my blog is associated with Solomon pervature I don;t know - only blog I did was on her was that one about her unsmiley photo to promote her Smile scent.
Although I'm perplexed as to why people are searching for m88888888888mmmmmmm... unless that's one of them there obscure euphamisms out of that Urban Dictionary that I'm unfamilliar with - and there was me thinking I was Down Wit' Da Kidz, innit bruv. Ya git me man? P'shaw!
Someone on The Facebukkakke recented mentioned a pervy search that hit their Tumblr. It's a long time since I saw what searches hit mine, so I thought I'd have a quick check at the Blogspot and Google stats for my blog.
The top ten interweb searches in Feb through Blogger:
● fields of the nephilim ceromonies
● the stranglers giants
● fiverladys
● making fanny of angelina jolie at the oscars
● "cradle your hatred"
● "got porn this way"
● "war of the worlds: goliath"
● bloggerobscura.blogspot.com
● fearne cotton's ringpiece
● neil innes grimms blogspot
The top ten interweb searches in Feb through Google:
● defacated
● come mr taliban
● fearne cotton bum
● georgie thompson upskirt
● durm und strang
● evangelion 3.33
● "martell"
● fields of the nephilim ceromonies
● goonies upskirt
● the xym
Other oddball queries worthy of note:
● pigboy
● gay nipples
● fag bank
● titty bream
● girl teats
● leotard tease
● tank fish and chippery
● dizzy wright fuck your opinion
● lycra boner
Should I be more concerned that people are googling The Xym, or that Fearne Cotton's chocolate starfish is expected to be found on my blog? 150 hits from people looking up Fearne's Bunghole!
I've no idea who Georgie Thompson is, and "making fanny of angelina jolie" makes no sense at all, let alone for multiple searches! And who's searching for upskirts in The Goonies - surely Mama Frattelli's italian bloomers are a cockblocker¹. And what the heck is a fiverlady? A cheapo budget chav slattern of the night? A go on her kebab for less than the price of kebab?
And what's with gay nipples? I mean, WTF? Gay nipples? How can you even have gay nipples? It's not like winged bunnies or sapphic turtles - it's body parts having sexual preferences of their own! Sentient organs? What happens if the nips are gay, but the body's straight? Now I'm worried - Do I have a straight cock, with gay ankles, Fearne Cotton's lesbian ringpiece² and bisexual hair?
And as for Titty Bream - fishteats? Fisherman's netting for brassiere's? Lobsters nestling in the norks alongsode crabs in the over the shoulder boulder holders? The mind boggles!
¹ OR WAS IT THE KIDS MOM? OR THAT CHEERLEADER. I REMEMBER THEM BEING OBSESSED WITH ONE-EYED WILLY. ONE-EYED WILLY INDEED! PIRATE NOB GAGS - AND IF THE SPANISH CLEANER IS GAGGING ON A PIRATE'S NOB, OR ONE-EYED WILLY, THERE'S SOMETHING VERY WRONG IN SATURDAY NIGHT FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT
² AH, SO THAT'S WHY PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR FEARNE'S BROWNEYE ON THE WEB! BASICALLY, BARING BUNGHOLES IS, LIKE, SO AMAZING. CHECK UP THE WAZOO! WICKED! EPIC UP THE SHITTER SKILLS!
