Someone on The Facebukkakke recented mentioned a pervy search that hit their Tumblr. It's a long time since I saw what searches hit mine, so I thought I'd have a quick check at the Blogspot and Google stats for my blog.
The top ten interweb searches in Feb through Blogger:
● fields of the nephilim ceromonies
● the stranglers giants
● fiverladys
● making fanny of angelina jolie at the oscars
● "cradle your hatred"
● "got porn this way"
● "war of the worlds: goliath"
● bloggerobscura.blogspot.com
● fearne cotton's ringpiece
● neil innes grimms blogspot
The top ten interweb searches in Feb through Google:
● defacated
● come mr taliban
● fearne cotton bum
● georgie thompson upskirt
● durm und strang
● evangelion 3.33
● "martell"
● fields of the nephilim ceromonies
● goonies upskirt
● the xym
Other oddball queries worthy of note:
● pigboy
● gay nipples
● fag bank
● titty bream
● girl teats
● leotard tease
● tank fish and chippery
● dizzy wright fuck your opinion
● lycra boner
Should I be more concerned that people are googling The Xym, or that Fearne Cotton's chocolate starfish is expected to be found on my blog? 150 hits from people looking up Fearne's Bunghole!
I've no idea who Georgie Thompson is, and "making fanny of angelina jolie" makes no sense at all, let alone for multiple searches! And who's searching for upskirts in The Goonies - surely Mama Frattelli's italian bloomers are a cockblocker¹. And what the heck is a fiverlady? A cheapo budget chav slattern of the night? A go on her kebab for less than the price of kebab?
And what's with gay nipples? I mean, WTF? Gay nipples? How can you even have gay nipples? It's not like winged bunnies or sapphic turtles - it's body parts having sexual preferences of their own! Sentient organs? What happens if the nips are gay, but the body's straight? Now I'm worried - Do I have a straight cock, with gay ankles, Fearne Cotton's lesbian ringpiece² and bisexual hair?
And as for Titty Bream - fishteats? Fisherman's netting for brassiere's? Lobsters nestling in the norks alongsode crabs in the over the shoulder boulder holders? The mind boggles!
¹ OR WAS IT THE KIDS MOM? OR THAT CHEERLEADER. I REMEMBER THEM BEING OBSESSED WITH ONE-EYED WILLY. ONE-EYED WILLY INDEED! PIRATE NOB GAGS - AND IF THE SPANISH CLEANER IS GAGGING ON A PIRATE'S NOB, OR ONE-EYED WILLY, THERE'S SOMETHING VERY WRONG IN SATURDAY NIGHT FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT
² AH, SO THAT'S WHY PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR FEARNE'S BROWNEYE ON THE WEB! BASICALLY, BARING BUNGHOLES IS, LIKE, SO AMAZING. CHECK UP THE WAZOO! WICKED! EPIC UP THE SHITTER SKILLS!
