Not content with lightening my wallet with import duties, the DHL are having yet another laugh at my expense.
First - delivery card thru the door - no problem, I can pick it up easy enough. Hold up - what's that writ big on the card?
"There is a Duty / Vat charge to be paid. £22.21p".
Underlined.
Twice.
And circled.
No way, José! They wouldn't release it unless I paid up - the fact it's being delivered proves I paid it already, otherwise it wouldn't have been released, you tricksy thieving bastards! I know your game - try and blag extra cash eh! Well, I have my invoice number, so Up Yours Matey Boy!
Oh well, off to pick it up! Google sez there's a DHL nearby! Nip across the road, skip past Funky Monkeys, jaunt over Vulcan Road and there it be! But the card map doesn't show the Vulcan Road depot. Dry Drayton? Well, I'll be over Drayton way(ish) tomorrow. Better just ring up and let them know I'm coming...
"Hi. It's The Xym. My package arrived, but it sez I still have a duty charge (despite paying it online), but can I pick it up now from my local office"
"No problem! Let me take your Waybill number... yep - your local Service Centre is open til 7!"
"Oooh great! Can you confirm where it is. It should be just across the road from me, but it seems to say Drayton on the card?"
"Ah, that's Dry Drayton. It's in Everard. In Cambridge."
"Eh? But my local DHL is in Catton, Norwich! How come it's gone all the way to Cambridge?"
"Well, DHL is split into 2 companies. DHL which deals in freight, and DHL which deals in packages. Our sub company handles the packages aspect, and the local depot for Norwich is in Cambridge. Can you come and collect at all..."
Cambridge? Local for Norwich? You can't get more local for Norwich than NORWICH. Unless I'm missing something.
Oh, I am. I'm MISSING MY PACKAGE!
And I don't mean my trouser bulge.
Good job I'm off tomorrow so I can have it redelivered. Probably end up arriving in a polkadot 'kerchief knotted to a stick, slung o'er the back of an urchin peddlar on a mule. It had better turn up before I have to leave for barnet trimmage...
I have my invoice number for me ePayment, so just let the "local" bumpkin try and fleece me for more of my hard earned pennies! Yes, that IS a dagger in my package, and I'm NOT best please to see you!
Growl, seethe and fume!
