Would you like a present too...

I think it must be Avoid The Xym At All Costs month.

Again.

You know when it's a babe's Birthday, and you go out and buy them a present, and the present turns out to me more expensive than you thought, but you think "what the hell, she's worth it" and it'll be appreciated?

And they invite you to a Birthday do.

At 7pm down The Playhouse.

And you've cancelled all your plans for that evening so you can spend time with the Pretty to celebrate their birthday.

And you get there, all tarted up, card & present in hand, and there's no seatage inside because they've got a Live Band on, so you have to sit outside in the freezing cold.

And you give up after an hour & 15 minutes because The Birthday Girl hasn't arrived?

And they don't answer the phone when you try and find out what's happened?

And you send them a message, but hear nowt back?

And you think that there's been a problem - a complication with a family illness, and you get worried for them?

And so you slink back to the other event, somewhat sheepish for cancelling on them, then turning up (luckily just in time).

And the next day you get a message saying the forgot to tell me they weren't going to their birthday bash?

Not because of any trauma, oh no, they just "forgot" about ME!

And the fact they organised a birthday bash.

"Don't hate me!" they cry. No, I don't hate you - I'm currently EXTREMELY MIFFED with you! How can anyone forget ME, for heaven's sake.¹

You know what - I think I'll revert back into hermitude! At least then people won't feel obliged to invite me to stuffs, knowing that it'll put others off coming (uh huh huh huh), or find excuses to bail out when they know Xym will be sat there.

All them events I've accepted on me Farcebook - perhaps I'll just do what everyone else does, accept and just not turn up with some plithy excuse.

"Woucher! I've got a bone in me leg! I can't make you're excellent event you're eagerly awaiting my attendance at!"

¹OF COURSE I'M NOT MIFFED - IT'S A PRETTY! I FORGIVE A PRETTY ANYTHING! I'M CLEARLY EXAGGERATING FOR COMIC EFFECT!!