Well, a boy's best friend is his mother.
Unless it's his cat.
And what better way to remember your cat upon it's death, than to have it stuffed and mounted.
And not in a sexy way.
And once you have it all taxidermied, it's a case of taxi round to the Heliport, for what better form of memoriam than turning your faithful friend into a feline flier.
In other words, convert your moggie into a remote control helichopter.
Yes - one of them Dutchmen has taken time away from fingering his dyke, cobbling his clogs and reverse engineering cheese to add landing legs to the belly of the beast, and added rotary blades and landing lights to all four paws. A bit of the old meccano to knock up a remote control, and the Marvellous Mister Mistoffelees is your aunties bestial lover.
I reckin this is all a cover up.
Now, we all know of the aminals that fly in the skies, and those that dwell within the aquasphere (such as the infamous hedge hopping hog, rods, and probably them Chupacabra, which is Mexicaine for Chubba Chupps in women's lingerie. Probably.). I reckon one of them mad greybeards, cackling under a crackling Tesla Coil and showered with sparks, has created a new arial menace.
Flying Felidæ!
Either that, or the mutant moggie is native to the skies over Dutchland, and this story came about because one was caught tethered on a line. Ever heard of "flying a kite"? Kite - short for KITTEN, perhaps?
Flying a Kitten!
And what benefit do these Helikitteh's give? Why - whatever keeps them afloat, of course.
Farmed for the helium in their bellies, that's what's going on!
So, next time you get a floaty birthday balloon, just remember - some poor puss had to have it's stomached pumped to fill that balloon you're so enamoured of!
No wonder there's so many cats on the ground these days - people blame a lack of neutering. Bollocks! It's just that their natural state in up in the clouds where they couldn't be seen, and our greed for making squeaky voices by sucking on a balloon has rendered too many pussies earthbound, thus rendering them more noticable!
Ban balloons and let the kitties fly free!
Let's go fly a kitteh
Up above the highest City
Let's go fly a kitteh
And send it meowing
Up to the Aquasphere
Up where there's no vet's here
Oh, let's go, fly a kitteh
And stop nicking pussy tummyhelium for party purposes
