That word is Twerk. After much Columboesque investigatory techniques, I have finally arrived at a definition of Twerk:
TWERK: [activity: To Twerk, Twerking] The act of Booty Shakin' when one lacks the posterior mass required; shimmying what little ass one has whilst brushing the aforementioned buttocks into a George Michael/Beetlejuice hybrid's crotch as some form of lizard's tongue slithers out during a bout of gargantuan finger foam fappage of the flange in rhythm to rapey pop hits.
And to make that definition clear, here is the Twerk in action:
Now, a Beetlejuice thrice the age of Hannah Montanna doing Disney damsels up the derrierré whilst caterwauling out a violent, rapey, mysogenistic ballad isn't quite what I expect from the VMAs... which I presume from the Miley Cyrus erotica performance is an acronym for the Vag, Mouth & Anal awards.
So, she got no titties exceptin' fried eggies, and she got no ass.... well, that's not exactly true... as most of her ass fell out of her chickenskin short, short shorts, giving you troubling connections come Christmas/Thanksgiving...
Gaaaah! You don't want to be stuffing your bird, and have the image of fisting Miley Cyrus pop into yer head! Or worse, the image above becoming Miley with a prolapsed rectum!
Put you right off yer festive feastings that would! (and yes, I've just subliminally put festive fistings into your subconscious, so when you're elbow deep in Paxo, giblets and turkeyarse on Xmas morn, you'll get the image of Robbing Thicko fisting Hannah Montana whilst singing "Good Girl, I know you want it... Up the arse!" )
But buttcheeks spilling out of latex dunghampers isn't the worst. Oh no.
To compound the image, it would appear that plastic surgery has replaced Miley's tongue with some form of phallic protrusion! Obviously, in the image where she's being bummed by Beetlejuice, it's all 'on the flop' and looking like an elongated lapping, panting dog tongue. But witness the post-show flash, where her tongue todger is getting a bit of a semi going on:
WTF - she's literally got a cock in her mouth... and who's that passing by? Justin Trousersake and N'Sync reformed? Oh noes - her penile tongue is rising towards a proper lob-on!
Right, that's it! I'm stopping before she gets to full erectile mastication mouth-piece and adds a pearl necklace to her Red Carpet...
...and, as Always, by Red Carpet I probably mean menstrual fannypad, or something...
