Superman fell off a horse and broke his neck due to equestian Kryptonite hoof-based topplement resulting in unexpected violent
And so he became an avid campaigner for Stem Cell Research, so a cure could be found for his paralysis.
So the greybeards went to work.
And what did they come up with? A cure for cancer? Regenerative limbs? A universal panacea to cure all ills thanks to tampering with spinal fluid extractions?
As if.
They went and invented test tube burgers instead!
Because petri-dishes are sort-of burger shaped, they planted some stem-cells in some biological agent in the bottom. Hey Presto! Burger shaped biomeat!
Doesn't help Christopher Reeves though. Mainly because he's dead. But if he had't died before stem-cell research, he'd be turning in his grave at the thought of his dream of being able to walk again was turned into a McMutant meat meal.
Mind you, if he was turning in his grave, them self-same greybeards would have him on a spit roast rotisserie. Turning in his grave? Turning in his own gravy, stewing in his own juices, more like!
Test tube burgers indeed! I've seen these B-Movie SyFy type filums. Bio-engineered stuffs rising up, breaking out of the lab, growing to monstrous size and going on the rampage!
It's Jurassic Pork! Burger King John Hammond cloning McBig McMacs, keeping the Jurassic era temperature high with volcanoes fuelled with McHot McApple McPie filling. Suddenly,McTea-Rextscy bursts out it's bun, savaging scientists with it's test tube teeth, before chasing Ham Neill before equally mutated Martin "The F1y" Brundle joins in the catastrophial carnage!
Well, I for one, refuse to bow to our DNA-cloned mutant meat overlords! Bad enough having to kowtow to illuminati royal lizards in human suits, let alone them being overthrown by mad scientists of the Hester Bloomin' Thrall forelock tugging sycophants of the meaty mutants.
or something.
