Well I'll be vajazzled and bollock waxed! Everyone's (least) favourite short fat gothboy with preposterous hair and outlandish 'tashe apparently cut quite a dashing figure down The WhatACunt last night!
Quite popliar was he indeed!
Why, many a veritable vixen, fashionista fox and chavved up gayboys were fighting for one's attention this weekend!
It started off down The Playhouse, which was packed out by arty-farty-party types, where barbabes were most complimentary on various Xym adornments.
And then, when we were seated, the Pretty element of the couple in the vicinity kept on eyeing up The Xym whenever her man's focus was focussed elsewhere. So obvious it was, that even The Xym noticed it - and you know how blind The Xym is to that kind o' stuffs!
Then, on to The WhatAC... oh noes. We're stopping off at the loathed Marquee first. So Xym stood outside in a huff. Bad enough I has to goes there next weekend for the Asylum social event, but I wants to get to The WhatACunt. Boo!
But eventually we gets there, and Xym is showered with compliment upon compliment as regards his myriad of accoutréments.
Blimey - The Xym is noticibly Turning Heads!
Well bugger me!
It seems The Boots With The Motion Sensitive Flashy Bits are a big draw. As is The 'tashe. Remarkably, so is the barnet and the silver glitter spray. Heck, the whole package presents proffers of admiration!
T'other week, I just got me cranial mop ruffled by a passing Pretty - this week, hit on galore!
I reckon I could have pulled that bird who was most admirous of me feathery dangler.
Of that gaggle of girlies impressed with me flashings.
Even the barbloke had to comment: "It's really hard to pull off a Look with glittery hair - you're just about the only person who can. Every week you put in a tremendous effort and look amazing!"
And The Xym is even arousing jealousy in repressed Chavboys, who find The Xym so fundamentally cool, they want to be just like The Xym. Alas, they fear to do so, for they'll get a duffing up off their Chacscum mates. They love that The Xym has the confidence (ha ha ha!) to tart up however he likes, and look so amazing... yet can't bring themselves to follow his fashion due to being brainwashed into conformism and having to fit in with their mates.
So there you have it.
I am THE Xym.
And I am fucking amazing.
I am the dog's bollocks, the donkey's dangler, the badger's nadgers and involuntary dampener of Pretties pants.
The Xym is a fucking LEGEND!
