Didn't tell me you were teasin'
Your good soup's snatch revealin'
Right, as everyone knows, The Xym is
Namely Carol Phwoarderman, Claudia Wankleman, Betsy Boo etc in case they tweet pics of their bared bronzed busoms from the nudie beach when on holiday for Topless Tuesday.
Now, The Xym very rarely uses Shitter. Like Poogull+, it's one of them things you use once in a blue moon. But I got a message off've Lada Gaga about her new FartPlop app (which is apparently a big pile of wank, and totally incomparable to Björk's
But I couldn't find it in the app store, so I went to Shitter to find the link... and saw this from Betty Boo:
"BTW that isn't my hand holding the Soup For Sluts!! #sausagefingers #filthycuffs"
Eh, whut?
This warrants further investigation! Holding hands with a soupy slutty Betty Boo!! #FingerMySausage #filthycunt Oh My!
So, go back a few sheets, and lo and behold:
Soup for sluts! All three types of slut, according to the sidebar: Cheap sluts, Fast sluts and Easy sluts!
Well, that explains her top poptastic hit: ('til my last breath) I'll Be Doin' It To Mos Def!2
● Lucky ole Ford Prefect out of Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy Chocolate having
Betty Boo "do It" to him till her last breath! And she does have quite a nithe
pair of breaths, now that The Thym cums to think of it...
● Jammy ole Brother Sam out of Dexter getting to check out her "wigwam,
wigwam, wigwam, checking out her foof, foof, foof...".
● Stockman in the forthcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turkles bangin' Boo's Booty for
24 hours.
Hey, Hippety-Hoppity DJ, I'm A Slag (Due To Soup That You're Makin')!
Where are you Baby? In the kitchen, serving up slagsoup for sexcapade shennanigans on the sofa!
And on top of all that, it's instant rAmen soup! A clear advocation that Pastafarian wimmin should be all free lovin' hippy slags. or something.
Right, that's it. I'm off to Tesco to get some celebrity slut seducing soup to entice The Boomeister into mine boo-doir!
Boo's soup's boilin', can ya feel the heat?
Mmmm...Boo soup (if you know what I mean, and I'm pretty sure that you do3)
1 NOT LITERALLY "ON THE SHITTER" AS IN PRETTIES PISSING, POO-ING AND PERIODING ON PORCELAIN POTTIES - I MEAN SHITTER AS IN BRIEF 140 CHARACTER MESSAGES #HASHPIPE.
2 I OPEN UP THE PACKET
AND SHAKE INTO A BOWL
I'M TOPPING UP THE KETTLE
THEN I PLUG IT IN TO T'WALL
I KISS HER FOR THE FIRST TIME
THANKS TO MY INSTANT SOUP
SHE HAS ANOTHER SPOONFULL
AND OFFERS HER POOP CHUTE
SHE LIKES TO GO TO TESCOS
BUT NEVER ON HER OWN
I SAID I'LL DO YOU LATER
AND GAVE HER SOME RAMEN
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT ON THE TELLY
WHEN IT'S SOUP FOR SLUTS
IT'S SOUP FOR SLU-SLU-UH-UH-UH-UH-SLUTS
(SOOOOOOUP FOR SLUUUTS
SOOOOOOUP FOR SLUUUTS
OOOOO-EEEEEE-OOOOO) ETC
3 BOO'S BOX SOUP. A VAGITARIAN STARTER. CUNNILINGUAL CONSOMMÉ. GASHPACHO SOUP WITH A HINT OF TUNA...
...BUT NOT CREAM OF TOMATO. MENSTRUAL MINESTRONE WITH A DASH OF JIZZ ISN'T REALLY MY TWO GIRLS ONE CUP-O'-SOUP. OR SOMETHING...
