...especially of that man is Xym, and he go in deh opposite direction!
First, an apology for the lack of bloggocks this week. Why, I have been veritably buried in activity, leaving no time to blog.
Not even spare time in me lunch break, what with having to analyze 4598 rows of data, and having 10 spreadsheets on the go, with constant calls and interruptions to check figures, change the basis of figures, waaaaah - no time at all.
And then Evenings - what evenings? Getsing home all shattered and crashing out on the sofa. And that Goths vs Food event Wednesday eve put Xym into a carnivorial coma! A mammoth1 burger with cheese, A mammoth burger without cheese, a humoungous chicken burger, a ginormous breaded chicken burger, A overlarge sausage, onion rings, eggs, bacon, chilli, beans.... and more!
But, I'm hopefully at the end of interminably interpreting terrorism payments, and have a bit of a break today! So yay! Back to boring you with tales of....
...Flash For Cash!
In the news this morning, apparently, you can pay wanton trollops to stand by the wayside or over bridges, and as you motorvate past, open up their PVC mac and bare their nuddy charms at you! This causes you to fixate on bared breasts and explicit minge, this distracting you into a hedge so you can write the car off on the insurance. Or something.
...Furry Lipsquid!
On the telly, a host of stereotypical keep-'em-in-the-kitchen mums bragging about how "I hardly every buy Fairy Liquid!". Of course you don't you dumbass cow - you have a dishwasher! You don't need Fairy Liquid. Nor do you need your daughter to stand by you, being trained in the craft of Women's Only Work. "Here you go, Dearest little Annabel - here's your birthday present. This is Fairy Liquid. Now get your bitchass back in that kitchen and what them fucking dishes you lazy slag."
...Mountain Climbing Cephalopods!
Ph'nglui mg'lw nafh Cthulhu R'yeh wgah'nagl fhtagn indeed! Squids putting on their hiking boots and conquering the inhospitable terrain.. before dying half way up when they suddenly remember they live in water, and being half way up a cliff face with oxygen running out due to altitudinal effects isn't condusive to aquatic denizens of the deep. Dumb fishes!
...Get Fresh With Rebellion!
Steppin' out! Forget Mel & Kim - we've got Interpretive Blake's 7 Detective Dance on the way! Dempsey and Soolin dancing all over the Liberator - oh wait, Soolin came later. Dempsey and Soolin dancing all over the Scorpio!
...Tufty's Twat Tickling Telly Temptation!
Dildo Squirrel! Now, I remember someone discussion the Dildo Squirrel being on some advert, and I got sent the link this morning. However, I can't recall the nature of the vibratory aspect of the wanking woman's point. Clitoral cereal stimulation for brekkie or some such. I think it may be along the lines of:
"Sluggish"
"Err, nope,what was the other one?"
"Bloated"
"Hmmm... Dildo! Get it!"
"Maybe aminal don't get human fannynipples coz they eat the fibre nature intended. Take the All-Flange five day challenge. Simply start your day with sea-fishies All-Flange, and the crusty cuntsters of natural wheatbran fibre will help you feel revitalized inside in just five days"
"Just five days?"
"Not THAT bit!"
"Which bit?"
"Clit Bit!"
Disgusting!
There would be more I would impart, but no time left for today! So the past will have to lounge in the past, and hope to be blogging on current events soon...
..but not too soon, as I just got a message I need to revist them thousands of data cells. Grrrrr...
1 MAMMOTH AS IN HUGE - NOT A WOOLLY MAMMOTH. THAT WOULD BE A MOST HAIRY BURGER....
"HEY VIC, DID YOU GET THAT JOB AS AREA MANAGER?"
"NO BOB, THEY WERE LOOKING FOR A HAIRIER MANAGER!"!
!BONGOS!!
