Today, it was announced that Richey Edwards of the Manic Street Preachers has been declared officially deaded after 14 years.
Which made him 27 when he died.
Now, it's well known that in order to be a true star, you have to die when you hit age 27. Heath Ledger, Pete deFeitas of Echo & The Bunnymen, Dave Alexander of The Stooges, Kurt Cocaine of Nirvana, Jim Morrisson of The Doors, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Brian Jones of The Rolling Stones…
…and it's all the fault of that Robert Johnson.
Robert Johnson was a bit crap at the ole R&B (proper R&B that is, all Louisiana Swamp Jazz, not this booty shakin' vocal wailing that talentless Leona Tuneless types try & pass off as R&B), so he took himself off down The Crossroads motel.
Whilst there, he summonsed up The Devil in order to become a Blues Musician of the highest quality. And get lots of cash & gash whilst he was at it.
Anyhoo, Mr Morningstar isn't keen on handing out talent and trollops, and duly set a time limit on how long Bobbo's benefits lasted. And so, whilst recording his 30th record (Apocalypse Blues) on his 27th Birthday, up pops Lucifer and drags him off to hell, leaving naught behind but a devilish chortle on the LP.
Somehow though, you can't help but wish certain other celebrities would take advantage of this deal, preferably 11 months after their 26th birthday.
*cough*JamesBlunt*cough* etc…
