You may recall my guests from previous shows "Star Whores" and "LabiaBint", when a young Ewok "Wicket Junior" revealed that his mother had been "taking Boba Fett's helmet deep into the Sarlac pit" with both a Wookie and a denizen of The Labyrinth that surrounds the Gobbling City.
Chewbacca refused to appear on the show, and sent a note with Han Solo denying he was the father, saying simply "arrrrrrrrrrrr".
Ludo hinted that he could be the father, answering every one of my questions with "Jeremy, friend! Ewok, friend! Sarah, friend! Ludo... get... brother?"
King Jareth pointed out that the child had no horns, unlike Ludo. Therefore it must the son of a wookie.
Han retorted by saying that Jareth had removed the horns and was flogging them on the ivory market. He further accused Jareth of being a paedophile who kidnapped babbies and lured 16yr old babysitters to his castle so that he wear extremely tight tights at them, enhancing his little red courgette whilst rolling his balls over his hands.
The show was stopped when the brawl began (it is believed Han threw the first punch, the sneak, but it's unclear from the footage. George Lucas will re-edit the show later for clarification).
Anyhow, after all that, both parties agreed to the DNA test. Hopefully, we can set this young childs mind at rest, and reveal who her father truly is. I truthfully do not know - I can't tell if she's a dog or a cat, or if dat's a cog.
Let's meet her, a very brave lady, welcome Wicket Junior to the show!
