As we all know, old gimmers love to plague the hard-pressed GP with their tales of woe after getting ill because they rely on traditional, natural, homeopathetic old wives tale based remedies (which although organic and increase global warming due to the side effects of increased flatulence, tend not to be as efficient as a shot from a NHS nursie who joins you in the shower with her nursie mates caressing your hair).
However, is practicing natural remedy such a crime that some wizened old crone has to be taken into protective custardy?
Seems the old lady found herself with a bit of IBS* caused the inadvertent swallowing of a fly (that wriggled and wriggled and tickled inside her). Thinking her demise may be imminent, further consumption of arachnids was thought to solve the issue.
Alas, this failed, and it fell to feasting on feathered friends, which fell foul and failed to cease further faecal fingernail stainage and stench. So, following the Old Wives Tale, she had no choice but to get a pussy to eat out her bird.
Now, an unhungry feline will not dine, so she bunged it in a bin for a couple of hours to ensure that when she retrieved it, it would munch it’s way through bird, spider and fly, thus alleviate her tummy conundrum.
Unfortunately, Pig Botherer was watching her, and now everyone wants to hang her, just for practicing traditional olde wurlde folke medicine on herself!
OK, she was stopped before the final two** stages (Canine consumption with a Bovine chaser), but come on! How do you think Old Wives got to be Old Wives? By Old Wives practical application of carnivorous healing!
As usual, it’s one rule for modern day technologically advanced healthcare types, and another for new-age hippies with a penchant for traditional medicine and dancing nudie on the hill in the light of the Moon.
* ITCHY BUM SYNDROME.
** ALTHOUGH SOME MAY CLAIM THREE, AS THERE IS SOME ISSUE AS TO WHETHER A HORSE COMES BETWEEN A DOG AND A COW. OR WAS IT A WHORE WHO'S A DOG AND A COW? SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
