I have returned from Hades pissed as a fart, so not may people may understand this, coz my hand/eye co-ordination is shot to Hell, and I can't spell for toffee. Or pizza. Which is a bugger, coz I managed to get a taxi home this week, which means I never passed a pizza parlour, and I'm dead hungry.
Anyhoo, this weeks revelation from Hades is that i'm some sort of Ladyboy! There was me 'singing' along to Crash by The Primitives - although bellowing would be a more apt description! Anyhoo, as I warble, the Lovely Lorraine butts in with the news that Crash is a girlie song! And that makes me as camp as Xmas!
The next track was She Sells Sanctuary by the Cult. Me thinking it's a hard as nails rock track sings along - but nooooo, Lorrie berates me AGAIN for singing along to girlie trax! And to make it worst, Lol joined in with the accusation of me being an afficionado of Girlie Music!
Good job John didn't play Tiffany, The Weathergirls, or Stardust then! (although I could've got away with the Weathergirls, coz that Sian Lloyd is quite tasty!)
Which reminds me, I actually saw a bit of X-Factor tonight, and that bother/sister act were singing the very same Stardust 'classic' - obviously they knew it was from Mannequin, coz they were as wooden as!
Or something!
I also recall dancing (without tears in me eyes) whilst Lorrie & Lol were upon the Floor of Dance, so I dread to thinks what they made of that! Me flounching about like a great fat tart!
And I wonders why I's single!
Probably coz the dorrman writ a big fat cross on me hand in big black ink, like some form of plague marker! Who's gonna get up close and personal wiv me now now that I'm branded with the mark of deathly disease!
No, it coz 'The Birds' don't fancy a great fat ugly Jabba wot flounces about like some lardy arse Dancing Queen, singing along to Girlie Music, like some loathesome lecherous slug!
Think I'll have to give Hades a miss in future!
