Anyhoo, our team's somehow been designated as Event organisers, and as I'm somehow seen as quite intellectual (Yes, me! Ha ha ha ha ha!), I was given the task of coming up with a quiz, and so I've done a brainy bod anagram quiz - I'll send it round on a bulleting tomorrow so you can have a go.
Anyways, being called intellecual made me think of them thickos in MENSA. There's this ludicrous poem going about (again) that them 'clever' MENSA lot try and trap you with, to make themselves look like right tits:
As I was going to St. Ives
I met a man with 7 wives
7 wives had 7 sacks
7 sacks had 7 cats
7 cats had 7 kits
Kits, kats, sacks, wives
How many were going to St. Ives?
Normally, these greybearded bods expect you to add up all the 7 and multiples thereof, and giving a calculated answer. The MENSA gobshite would then laugh at you, calling you a fool, and saying that the answer is 1, as YOU were going to St Ives.
At that point, you would give the overly clever tosspot the kicking he so richly deserves.
The actual answer, if of course, NONE!
First of all, you have the initial subject, "I", on his way to St Ives.
On his way, he meets a man. We are not told within the rhyme if "the man" was also on his way to St Ives or not. He could be either off to Yarmouth, or continuing on to St Ives with "I" for company. So immediately we have ambiguity of how many are on their way to St Ives.
Now, this bloke has seven wives. Again, we're not told whether any of the wives were present, or if he just happened to have 7 wives. Also, this would be classed as bigamy, so "I" and "the Man" would begin a heated debate about various laws vs religious dogma.
Then "the man" reveals that the 7 wives have 7 sacks - again, is that 1 apiece, or 7 each?
Not only that, the 7 (49, or 7 of the 49) sacks each have 7 cats in them. This would certainly make "I" a bit on the wary side, and animal cruelty crops up into the debate.
On top of that, "the Man" increases the tension, by saying that 7 cats (again, just 7, or each group of 7) have 7 kittens. By now, "I" would be EXTREMELY concerned. We have sacks filled with cats and kittens. By now, "I" is surely giving "the Man" a good duffing up whist calling the RSPCA and The Law on his mobile.
And as he waded in with fists of fury and pincers of power, he'd be arrested for GBH or aggrivated assault.
And as they're all banked up in Joliet, no-one's off to St Ives!
So, next time some foolish fop lands you with this 'conundrum', recite to them the PROPER version of events:
As I was going to St. Ives
I met a man, who may (or may not) have also been going to St. Ives
The bigamist had 7 wives
some of whom may (or may not) have been with him
Those wives who may have been with him
may (or may not) have also been going to St. Ives
The 7 wives may have had 7 sacks between them
Or 7 sacks each
Either 7 sacks, or each group of 7 sacks,
may have had 7 cats in total
or 7 cats each
Either 7 cats, or each group of 7 cats,
may have had 7 kits in total
or 7 kits each
Or something
Kits! kats! Kit-Kats! Sacks! Wives!
Assuming I didn't call the Police
To arrest him for Bigamy
Or call the RSPCA
for animal cruelty
How many were (or may not have been) going to St. Ives?
MENSA? Thick as pigshit, the lot of 'em!
