A psychopath pachyderm is on the prowl in Nepal.
Hannibal may have took them over the Himalayan Alps, but in a twist of fate, Disney's Dumbo has become Hannibal Lecter.
It's modus operandi appears to be night stalkerage through Chitwan National Park until it finds suitable victims.
Once found, it's terrible trunk slithers through the window, snatches the sleeping scion from their slumbers, gently lays them on the ground, then then jumps on them.
Trample, trample, trample it goes, before it stampedes off into the jungle like Predator, leaving naught behind but a squished mass of flattened farmer.
So far, the deranged, deviant descendant of the maniacal mammoth has claimed 4 victims in the last three months.
The latest atrocites by this loner (no doubt a "goth" with a taste for booze and drugs) was in Gardi village.
Obviously got Gardid very well!
Guarded? Gardidn't, more like!
Now, you may think that Elephants are, like, endangered, or something. Well, they are, unless they go mental and kill peoples. Then you're allowed to apply the death penalty and replace some piano keys, umbrella stands, and make a nice new handback out of it's scrotum.
I'm glad I live in England, no chance of murderous elephants here...
...unless we have ABE's in Norwich!
There was the case of the colossal Costessey cat that prowed the allotments a few years back, and there are plagues of Pumas and stuffed lions. ABC's they're called - Alien Big Cats. Non-native species escaped from Zoos and private collections!
Perhaps one is on the loose in Norfolk. A non-native heffalump escaped from Zoosk or other private dating site.
or something.
