Eeeep!
So instead of getting the bus and quaffing down inebriative beverages, I'm a-drivin' up there so I can make a quick getaway before a throng of yobbos tries to engage me in fisticuffs at the bus stop.
"And what are you off to see tonight, Xym?"
Well...
I was going to see Gary Numan, and I have my £25 ticket in me grubby mitts. However, I have just discovered that there is a conflicting event also at the UEA.
The Inter-Club Pole Dancing Competition 2012!!
In the UEA Blue bar, no less! And we all know what "Blue" means, don't we kids - Blue Movies! It's gonna be a pornfest of scantily clad womens writhing about poles in an erotic fashion.
All for only £1 (troll-ah-la!).
Now that's what I call Poundland Porn!
So... practically nudie Pretties on poles for a pound, or Gary Numan. Well...
It's only Numan
Of flesh and blood he's made
Numan?
Porn on poles instead?1
Hold on, better double check out these pole dancing UEA Athletic pretties:
"They can scale sheer cliffs, take down massive armoured men and tread water for over an hour, but can they also pole dance? Joseph Mumford, Daryl Jacobs, Luke Thompson, *"To be confirmed"*, Ben Leader-White & Connor McPhail."
Eh, whut?
Them's not ladynames!
Is this some Thai Ladyboy thingy - oiled up girlymen gyrating on girders for the appeasement of muscle-hungry womens and uphill gardeners?
Think I'll stick with Numan instead!
Note to self: Remember to stay away from front centre this time, due to frequent drenchings from Gary showering mid-song with bottled water and giving himself hypothermia because of Evian Flu.
or something.
