Apparently, that there talentless waste of matchstick Victor Beckham has been crownded Woman Of The Decade at the Glamour Wimmin Of The Year Awards.
And there was me thinking there were at least 7 more years till the end of the decade to allow actual talented wimmins to get voted. But clearly, a decade has been decimated and redecimalised into just a triplicity of annual occurances.
Anyhoo, her "design line" is so atrociously bad, she won't wear her own clothes (coz they're shite), and turned up in a fashion faux pas of visual unappeal.
And her message: "My mum is my woman of the year. I really love women. Dress appropriately."
Well,
a) You Mum didn't win the award you dumbass bint! Nor was she even in the running you gormstress!
b) You great
c) Dress appropriately says one of the gash flash five - and turns up in some ill-fitting jumpsuit affair, which at least mainly covered up her usual semblance of Skeletor (resulting in a bin bag rattling with bones look).
Woman of the decade? Woman of the decayed, more like!
So, what else was awarded to other non-entitties to make them feel all empowered?
Nicole Shirtsinger was named Best TV Personality for... um... being on X-Factor, like, ages ago, and appearing in cutaways during F1 watching Lewis Hamilton driving.
Best TV Personality my arse!
Jessie J won The Editors Special Award... exactly what for, I dunno. Sitting in a revolving chair and cutting her barnet off probably.
And Myleene Klass got an Entrepreneur award for promoting camel hoofed nipple defining bikinis in waterfalls. Thrusting your young pert breasts directly into camera whilst lathering yer labia is hardly an entrepreneurial venture!
Honestly, they give out awards for any old crap these days!
Where's my award for this blog, eh? That's what I wanna know! I wants a big ceremonial presentation with hot chicks and groupies throwing themselves at me because of my humongously big Award award for awarding awards to the award winning blog award, and I wants it now!
