No blog today coz I can't be arsed!
Revelations yesterday put a downer on things somewhat on the employment front, so Xym's as miserable as.
It would have been either a pervy pastiché on The Owl And The Pussycat1, a rant about the Stamp Gnome2, or even The Xym pimping himself out under his own escort agency.
See, we're downsizing our already too-small and overstretched team. So the likelihood is that The Xym will be gutterbound come Christmas. Oh waily woe and misery!
However, it did dawn on The Xym that he could form... his own Escort Agency!
Having had The Fear put into me by seeing Frank Sidebottom Simulcra Alex on The Apprentice preview of the Advert for the Dating Agency task, it occurred to me that there may be a gap in the market for short fat gothboys with preposterous hair and ridiculous moustacios who just about scrub up to almost acceptable appearance.
Most of the current whorehouses, I mean Agencies, tend to pimp out these smart, buff blokes to attend galleries, opening nights, networking events, posh dinners and general shaggery. What about the Alternative Pretties - they don't want some suave posho alongside their PVC lacy hairfalled booted beauty!
Take a look at The Xym (if you can stomach it!) - there's no way anyone's going to believe a Pretty paid to hire such a loathsome accompanyment as their Escort (Best Court!), so they look like they've pulled, rather than looking like a desperate saddo that had to resort to hiring a hunk to dance with them down The WhatACunt!
How cool would that be - the opportunity to hire The Xym! Surely some of my Goffik Princesses would be up for that - and I'd cum at reasonable rates too (a Pedros meal, perhaps. An atrocious cinnamony cocktail. Heck - Xym'll probably take you out for free, just for the pleasure of pleasuring a Pretty. or something).
I'm pretty sure I can get a portfolio together of other Gothboys to pimp out... although that would mean they get picked before Xym, so he has to sit in the office waiting for his bitches to return laden with profits from their prostituting themselves out to Pretties.
And then I'd be even closer to being like Pops from The League Of Gentlemen...
"Hhhhey, Pretty ladis - why you no a-like-a my boys, huh? Here, Pops give you video camera. Film your date, huh? For the memories, and if things get a little sexytime - ahhh! You know what Pops is sayin'! You want Maverick Bars ? I give you Maverick Bars - just like Marianne Faithfull! C'mon - come to Pops. He a-treat a-you right!"
Anyhoo, as I'm all sad and depressed at having to Go Through A Selection Process, there'll be no blog today.
:(
1 THE GIRL WITH THE PUSSYFLAPS FELL ASLEEP
ROHYPNOLLED BY A SCROTE
HE TOOK HER VIBE BUNNY
AND PLEASURED HER CUNNY
AND SHE CHOKED ON A COCK DOWN HER THROAT
etc, etc...
2 IT'S MY NON-LOCAL SISTER'S BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY. BOUGHT A CARD THIS MORNING. GUESS WHAT... THAT BOOK OF STAMPS I BOUGHT LAST TIME AND USED ONE... GONE!
