...cunterstanding!
Some people get by,
With a whole lot more need for a punch in the chops!
Cunterstanding: A level of intellect attributed to those with an inability to comprehend basic concepts. Often applies to those who state that they do not need things "mansplaining" to them, when they clearly do. A cunt who doesn't understand.
*Sees a door marked Pull"
*Sees woman pushing on door"
"You need to pull that door to open it"
"I do know how to open a door, thank you very much. I don't need you mansplaining it to me"
*woman stubbornly continues to push at door*That is a prime example of high cunterstanding. Door needs pulling, person refuses to understand the concept, rages out when the bleedin' obvious is pointed out.
There are soooo many examples I could make, but after tonights cockwombling evening, I take high umbrage with the Mexican muppets at Cock In Her.
Now, like many poncey restaurants constantly under threat of Going Under, they always have half price / 2-for-ones / free plonk offers... and apparently never any custom.
So, the way to draw the punters in, is to add more tables outside.
But not outside your own premises, of course. That would make it untidy outside! So, you keep your frontage clear, and slowly encroach upon your neighbours premises.
In tonights case, not just slightly over the boundary, but right over. Across the Emergency (and main) Entrance.
So, what do we do when we need to go out?
Shift it!
So, back onto their premises they go. Chairs, tables, bollard signage - all shunted over. Now I can get out and get our frontage sorted. And when done, go back and tidy up their placement, all nice and neat. And a good job I made of it too, considering the added furniture.
Then Mr Manager comes over, asking that next time we go in and ask before we move it!
You cunterstand that that we need to move your shit off our property so we can get out, but you want to ask us before we move it?
How about you ask us if you can put your empty chairs and tables right across our doorway and frontage, and block the emergency exit? That way, we won't have to come over and ask you to shift it?
Better still, just don't have the cunterstanding of blocking it in the first place! Ditch the gormstrosity, and put your chairs and tables in front of your restauraunt, where they should be. That way, everyone wins.
But no. Some people are just cuntybollocked fuckweasles.
Sorry readers - it's been one of those days! I would tell you of my woes, but they mainly involve things that went wrong at work, which I cannot speak of, for fear of revealing the Secrets Of The Rooms.
And Cock In Her cunt was the penultimate straw!
The final straw being Haunted by one of them there Old Women Evil Insidious Spirity strumpets upon the occult omnibus!
Today, we were able to shut up shop early(ish!), so I got the 9:30pm bus.
Usually, I end up on the 10pm bus... unless we're held back, and then I get the 10:30 bus. No matter which one, there's always the same mad old crone on it. Talking away at her non-existent companion, whilst scoffing oranges.
And I gets the 9:20 bus, and BAM! Guess who's on it?
The possessed pensioner from Beyond! This time, chanting in tongues unspeakable by man. probably.
How can she be on every bus I get after work? Am I psychic, and the only one to see the travelling spectre haunting the WorstBus purple line route? Or is she haunting me on my travel home?
Will I wake up in the middle of the night, just to see her all black shouded and screaming in me face, before dragging me through Ye Spheres so Azathoth can feast on my soul as the black blood of Yibb-Tstll suffocates me?
Or am I being stalked by a mad old maid, pre-empting my bus-based embarkment by one prior stop?
Or am I just seeing things? And if so, why a hagard old muttering witch? Why don't I get a nudie nubile succuoffonabus spirit instead?
Life is SO unfair sometimes!
